My whole life I have been a good girl. Really. You can ask my parents. Now, I'm not sayin' I never got in trouble or did anything bad...but I stayed out of trouble as much as possible.
Growing up with an older sister to make all the mistakes first benefited me because I used what happened to her to guide me. I just knew that I didn't want to get in trouble. It's not like my sister was always in trouble but, the times I witnessed her get in trouble were enough to let me know that that's not where I wanted to be. This is all leads up to the life I live today. I don't drink and never have. I have tasted alcohol but I have never been drunk, tipsy or even had a drink. It never really interested me even when all my friends did it. When I look back I don't know if it was because I was afaid I would get caught or if it was just that I was determined not to be like everyone else.
I don't smoke but tried it once in college and it made me horribly sick. So, that never happened again. I didn't have sex until college and unfortunately that was a mistake too. Not that any of these things would have made me a bad girl but had I done them it would have definitely made me a different person than I am today.
I never got away with anything I had done it when I was young. I wasn't a good liar and I really didn't like to lie - so, I just figured that I wouldn't...besides, it seemed to me like I always got caught.
As an adult I am pretty much the same. Recently I was workin at a local St Paul theater and I had gotten in trouble for sitting and watching the play one night. I was told not to do it again. The next show came around and I did not sit in the theater once until the last night when one of the actors kept encouaging me to watch. He said it was my last chance and that I had to watch it. I said no and he continued to "peer pressure" (haa) me into it. I don't know why the peer pressure worked because it never had before.
I go in to sit down right inside the door, just in case I needed to leave. I wasn't inside for a minute when the actor came and said that a late arrival needed me to seat them. This happened one more time and I decided not to go back in and sit down. But of course, the actor again told me to go ahead.
This time I was sitting there for less than 5 minutes and guess who walks in the door.....the executive director of the theater. He came in and sat right next to me. bah!!!! I sat there trying to be invisible, thinking, "oh...he doesn't know it's me. It's too dark in here for him to tell." But after a few minutes next to him I couldn't take it anymore. I had to leave.
This is the story of my life. I'm not a good girl because I want to be. It's just that I always seem to get caught, even with the small things. My guilty conscience only feeds my good behavior and makes me strive to be the best good girl. How bleepin annoying is that!
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Monday, April 25, 2005
Sunday, April 24, 2005
The Ledge
Well....finally....My CD's are on their way to me. This has been the longest process - patience is not my strong suit and this experience has demanded my complete humbled patience. It was worth the wait. But damn. I hope it doesn't take that long to get the next project out.
check my website below. There will soon be updates on when the release will be and where you can pick up your very own copy of my full length release, The Ledge. Also, check out DUnation for local Twin Cities hip hop shows, artists, shit talkin' and all that jazz.
www.desdamona.dunation.com
check my website below. There will soon be updates on when the release will be and where you can pick up your very own copy of my full length release, The Ledge. Also, check out DUnation for local Twin Cities hip hop shows, artists, shit talkin' and all that jazz.
www.desdamona.dunation.com
Saturday, April 23, 2005
Triple Goddess
this was written in the spirit of all the b girls across the world who have pushed their way into the cipher / are brave enough to take the rhyme higher / not afraid to break it down - neva to expire / taggin' mad skillz - runnin' free, dancin' like a live wire / all the ladies who have babies by b boys comin' up / the ones who got beat down and told to shut f up / things comin' full circle and it's about that time / that we take back, take back / that I take back the rhyme.
Tyeisha was a b girl from way back / used to get mess'd with cuz she was too black / had an older brother who could rap / she used to follow him round the hood and watch him rip cats / with lyrcials bats - bold freestyles / all her brother's friends told her she had a beautiful smile / she was a quiet, fiend for the word, kinda bright child / didn't know anything other than this boogie down lifestyle / she wrote poems in alleys, backstreets and subways / she walked rhythms, bouncin' beats, birthin' b girl beauty every day / she was bound and determined to live life her way / say what she gotta say / never to be brought down / she put fierce fire on display / she would leave her mark and be gone without a trace / she didn't need a face - just a place to lay sunsets and bright beams, streamin' through her melancholy streets / Tyeisha's gone now but what she left behind was peace.
Neyla grew up a minority, majority in her neighborhood - with Native and Irish blood / she was intrigued / entranced by the way the words danced past the here and now to future dreams of what could be / so she decided to write / thinkin' it was the only way she could get free / nobody believed that she could rock the mic right / so she would stand in front of the mirror and recite until daylight / crafting poems that sounded like rhymes, that sounded like songs / and she used them to pray so she called them psalms / on her palms there were traces of ink laced with inspiration / drawing pictures of new princesses - creating new interpretations / rewriting her history so there was no mystery to be seen / divine internal - mother eternal. D.I.M.E. / she slept on lyric sheets, drinking dreams of goddess nectar / always schemin' about the ways she could bring the people all together / intuitively she was love at it's ulitimate height / and she truly believed in every word that she would write.
Then there was D / torn between 2 worlds of confusion / brought up between reality and illusion / a collision of matter and anti-matter / she would make music and turn it into movement / envoking, provoking, evoking images of disaster and peace / her energy never ceased / rate of heart beat increase as she break to the beat / got the people out their seats just to see her sweets / couldn't quite catch every movement of her feet / in awe of her timing / it's like when she danced, she was rhyming / clmbing the ladder of eternity / dancing for all the spirits that have left their bodies / calling in ghosts to possess her form with the life of 10 thousand peoples / it was like when she danced she balanced out everything / to keep it equal / she had so much love she didn't know what to do with herself / couldn't live without the rhythm / it was the only thing she really felt / so she would slip down city streets in shell toes andb girl flare / she'd be dancin' with the wind and everyone would stare.
Take back. take back. take back the rhyme
break back. break back. break back through time
make that. make that. make that divine.
Tyeisha was a b girl from way back / used to get mess'd with cuz she was too black / had an older brother who could rap / she used to follow him round the hood and watch him rip cats / with lyrcials bats - bold freestyles / all her brother's friends told her she had a beautiful smile / she was a quiet, fiend for the word, kinda bright child / didn't know anything other than this boogie down lifestyle / she wrote poems in alleys, backstreets and subways / she walked rhythms, bouncin' beats, birthin' b girl beauty every day / she was bound and determined to live life her way / say what she gotta say / never to be brought down / she put fierce fire on display / she would leave her mark and be gone without a trace / she didn't need a face - just a place to lay sunsets and bright beams, streamin' through her melancholy streets / Tyeisha's gone now but what she left behind was peace.
Neyla grew up a minority, majority in her neighborhood - with Native and Irish blood / she was intrigued / entranced by the way the words danced past the here and now to future dreams of what could be / so she decided to write / thinkin' it was the only way she could get free / nobody believed that she could rock the mic right / so she would stand in front of the mirror and recite until daylight / crafting poems that sounded like rhymes, that sounded like songs / and she used them to pray so she called them psalms / on her palms there were traces of ink laced with inspiration / drawing pictures of new princesses - creating new interpretations / rewriting her history so there was no mystery to be seen / divine internal - mother eternal. D.I.M.E. / she slept on lyric sheets, drinking dreams of goddess nectar / always schemin' about the ways she could bring the people all together / intuitively she was love at it's ulitimate height / and she truly believed in every word that she would write.
Then there was D / torn between 2 worlds of confusion / brought up between reality and illusion / a collision of matter and anti-matter / she would make music and turn it into movement / envoking, provoking, evoking images of disaster and peace / her energy never ceased / rate of heart beat increase as she break to the beat / got the people out their seats just to see her sweets / couldn't quite catch every movement of her feet / in awe of her timing / it's like when she danced, she was rhyming / clmbing the ladder of eternity / dancing for all the spirits that have left their bodies / calling in ghosts to possess her form with the life of 10 thousand peoples / it was like when she danced she balanced out everything / to keep it equal / she had so much love she didn't know what to do with herself / couldn't live without the rhythm / it was the only thing she really felt / so she would slip down city streets in shell toes andb girl flare / she'd be dancin' with the wind and everyone would stare.
Take back. take back. take back the rhyme
break back. break back. break back through time
make that. make that. make that divine.
Last Night a DJ Saved My Life
Yesterday was the kick off for the B Girl Be visual exhibit. We had a Cut-a-thon with Moxie Hair Salon from noon to midnight, featuring artwork on the walls, vocal performances, breakers, and Dj Jennifer & Dj Aaron Money.
Jamela started off the performances around 12:30pm. This woman can sing! She doesn't need a microphone & she sure don't need a stage. She is the kind of singer that makes you stop what you're doing and sit down to listen - which is exactly what happened. There was no hair clippin' going on while she was performing. Beautiful.
Then there was me. I went on around 1:30pm. I did 3 poems and was asked to do another. I got a great applause that was unexpected and it felt really good to perform in that environment. The stylists turned their chairs around so that their clients could watch and listen while they got their hair cut.
Nice.
Then came Miss Sarah White. I was really glad she was able to make it down. She has a new 5 month old baby so it's not always so easy to get out and do things. She was a little nervous when she came in. I think it was a combination of the fact that she hadn't performed in some time and that this wasn't the typical performance venue. Bright lights and no where to hide. She held her new life, Isa while she explained her first piece. Emotions were running high and she could finish it due to a ruch of tears. She was embarrassed - but it was absolutely marvelous. Just what people need to see and hear...a real, live person expressing themselves while holding up a new life. You just don't see that often enough.
Lovely.
Sarah decided to do another piece that wasn't so emotional. She got through it and it was just as powerful as the last. Afterwards she admitted that the tears threw her off but I let her know that it's all just the way it is supposed to be. It needed to happen.
At 6pm the DJ's showed up and got the music going. There were 3 lovely B Girls in the house who threw down right there in the middle of the salon. There we young and old in the crowd and many people who just came to watch the performance. I wanted to get down myself but I would have made a fool of myself trying to do the robot or something stupid like that. 3 Little girls gathered autographs after the performance and we caught it all on tape.
Movement.
I headed down to Intermedia around 7pm to see how many people came for the exhibit opening. I walked in to a crowd of people mingling, laughing, talking and weaving their way through the visual expressions on the walls. Within an hour the place was full. I did an impromtu performance with B Girl Seoul and one of the Lovelies from the Purple House project. People gathered around to watch - it was fun but of course, even though it was my idea I felt a little strange about the whole thing. They caught it all on tape (once again) so now I can painfully sit and watch it to see how uncomfortable I really looked.
Lessons.
I ran home to chage clothes around 9pm - next stop: La Bodega for the PAR-TAY! I entered a packed house around 10pm with Leah Nelson at my side. Miranda Jane was taking money at the door and regulatin' all the peeps who were tryin' to trip about the cover. $8 going towards the B Girl Be summit. I guess not everybody knows what's REALLY goin' on.
There were performances by myself - I hadn't planned on performing but we had some last minute cancellations so I decided to fill up some time. Then we had Jessica Lopez Lyman, Sarah White, Maria Isa & Many Styles, Lady Tobalyas & friends, and DJ Lady Luca spinning the hot old school joints. DJ Stage One also came down to help the ladies out (my favorite TC DJ)! In the background on a flat screen TV Rachel Raimist's video complition of women in hip hop played throughout the show. We couldn't have had a better day!
Exhausted.
Jamela started off the performances around 12:30pm. This woman can sing! She doesn't need a microphone & she sure don't need a stage. She is the kind of singer that makes you stop what you're doing and sit down to listen - which is exactly what happened. There was no hair clippin' going on while she was performing. Beautiful.
Then there was me. I went on around 1:30pm. I did 3 poems and was asked to do another. I got a great applause that was unexpected and it felt really good to perform in that environment. The stylists turned their chairs around so that their clients could watch and listen while they got their hair cut.
Nice.
Then came Miss Sarah White. I was really glad she was able to make it down. She has a new 5 month old baby so it's not always so easy to get out and do things. She was a little nervous when she came in. I think it was a combination of the fact that she hadn't performed in some time and that this wasn't the typical performance venue. Bright lights and no where to hide. She held her new life, Isa while she explained her first piece. Emotions were running high and she could finish it due to a ruch of tears. She was embarrassed - but it was absolutely marvelous. Just what people need to see and hear...a real, live person expressing themselves while holding up a new life. You just don't see that often enough.
Lovely.
Sarah decided to do another piece that wasn't so emotional. She got through it and it was just as powerful as the last. Afterwards she admitted that the tears threw her off but I let her know that it's all just the way it is supposed to be. It needed to happen.
At 6pm the DJ's showed up and got the music going. There were 3 lovely B Girls in the house who threw down right there in the middle of the salon. There we young and old in the crowd and many people who just came to watch the performance. I wanted to get down myself but I would have made a fool of myself trying to do the robot or something stupid like that. 3 Little girls gathered autographs after the performance and we caught it all on tape.
Movement.
I headed down to Intermedia around 7pm to see how many people came for the exhibit opening. I walked in to a crowd of people mingling, laughing, talking and weaving their way through the visual expressions on the walls. Within an hour the place was full. I did an impromtu performance with B Girl Seoul and one of the Lovelies from the Purple House project. People gathered around to watch - it was fun but of course, even though it was my idea I felt a little strange about the whole thing. They caught it all on tape (once again) so now I can painfully sit and watch it to see how uncomfortable I really looked.
Lessons.
I ran home to chage clothes around 9pm - next stop: La Bodega for the PAR-TAY! I entered a packed house around 10pm with Leah Nelson at my side. Miranda Jane was taking money at the door and regulatin' all the peeps who were tryin' to trip about the cover. $8 going towards the B Girl Be summit. I guess not everybody knows what's REALLY goin' on.
There were performances by myself - I hadn't planned on performing but we had some last minute cancellations so I decided to fill up some time. Then we had Jessica Lopez Lyman, Sarah White, Maria Isa & Many Styles, Lady Tobalyas & friends, and DJ Lady Luca spinning the hot old school joints. DJ Stage One also came down to help the ladies out (my favorite TC DJ)! In the background on a flat screen TV Rachel Raimist's video complition of women in hip hop played throughout the show. We couldn't have had a better day!
Exhausted.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Spinning
As my life seems to be moving faster than my mind I am in a constant state of confusion. I can't remember anything uinless I write it down. Even the simpilest things are easily forgotten. I have too much on my plate and I need to make some changes.
The good thing is that I am surrounded by good people who understand my maddness and are going through the same thing. And, I am working with some great youth in Minneapolis.
I have been working with a group of young ladies at Green Central School in Minneapolis - working on poems, lyrics and performance. For the past 2 weeks we have been recording songs for the B Girl Be Summit (June 2-5). It has been an amazing experience both for myself and the girls. I took them to a big studio and they got to see how everything is done. They recorded their songs and were soooo professional and open to the experience. It was great! I will never forget it and I don't think that they will either.
The only down side to it is that onm our last night recording got the girls home about 30 minutes later than I had planned. Some of the girls had called their parents and some had not...and what do know, one of the girls who didn't call had an irrate mother screaming at her once she finally called....Then she screamed at me. YIKES! I don't think I have ever had anyone talk to me in that way my whole entire life. Now on the one hand, I understand her point because it is a school night and we didn't call. But, if you wouldn't have heard all the foul language you would have been just as thrown off as I was.
Of course, I apologized and said that we would get her home right away. My co-producer actually took her home and then got an ear full from the mother again.
My concern is with the girl. I just hope she didn't get into too much trouble for being late. I would never want to be the cause of someone getting yelled at, cursed at, or whatever else....I don't even want to think about the possibilities.
Everything just keeps spinning - hopefully I will soon get a chance to stop and rest.
The good thing is that I am surrounded by good people who understand my maddness and are going through the same thing. And, I am working with some great youth in Minneapolis.
I have been working with a group of young ladies at Green Central School in Minneapolis - working on poems, lyrics and performance. For the past 2 weeks we have been recording songs for the B Girl Be Summit (June 2-5). It has been an amazing experience both for myself and the girls. I took them to a big studio and they got to see how everything is done. They recorded their songs and were soooo professional and open to the experience. It was great! I will never forget it and I don't think that they will either.
The only down side to it is that onm our last night recording got the girls home about 30 minutes later than I had planned. Some of the girls had called their parents and some had not...and what do know, one of the girls who didn't call had an irrate mother screaming at her once she finally called....Then she screamed at me. YIKES! I don't think I have ever had anyone talk to me in that way my whole entire life. Now on the one hand, I understand her point because it is a school night and we didn't call. But, if you wouldn't have heard all the foul language you would have been just as thrown off as I was.
Of course, I apologized and said that we would get her home right away. My co-producer actually took her home and then got an ear full from the mother again.
My concern is with the girl. I just hope she didn't get into too much trouble for being late. I would never want to be the cause of someone getting yelled at, cursed at, or whatever else....I don't even want to think about the possibilities.
Everything just keeps spinning - hopefully I will soon get a chance to stop and rest.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Babies on Birth Control
Things are getting crazy. Or no...maybe things have been crazy and I'm just realizing it. They are trying to make birth control illegal???? Are you fucking kidding me? Well,a few pharmacists in the Twin Cities area have refused women their perscriptions for birth control because of their religious beliefs. I'm like, those are YOUR religious beliefs, not MINE.
I have never been on birth control but I do use protection and I know that it is my right to be able to choose whether or not I want to use birth control. These people are really losing it, deciding for someone else. Ain't that some shit!
NO birth control. No abortions. But you want me to raise my child so that when they turn 18 you can sign them up for your ARMY, send them off, teach them to KILL (which if I remember correctly is MORALLY WRONG IN YOUR BOOK), and then tell them it is an honor for them to die for "their country". So actually, you will kill them or at least send them to de killed. And that should be ok with me? No.
I believe in this country and what it is supposed to stand for and I am glad that I have spent my life here....there is no question that I love where I came from. It's the people the worry me...actually, scare me to death.
Bombing Abortion clinics = death....isn't that right?
But that's not all....I work with youth in my community and recently a young girl came in and she was complaining about pain from her birth control shot. I was a little stunned to hear that she had gotten the shot but I tried to just listen to her. The problem is that some of these methods we are using completely stop your whole cycle. There is something wrong with this. There has to be some affect that this is going to have - we may not know til it's too late. the second problem is that this is the only protection that these young girls are using. Minneapolis has one of the highest STD rates in the nation so this could out to be devastating to the community as a whole, not to mention these young girls (and boys) lives.
I feel like with all these things we are on the path to self destruction. It's hard to watch it all go down and hear everyone's explanation and excuses.
What's goin' on?
I have never been on birth control but I do use protection and I know that it is my right to be able to choose whether or not I want to use birth control. These people are really losing it, deciding for someone else. Ain't that some shit!
NO birth control. No abortions. But you want me to raise my child so that when they turn 18 you can sign them up for your ARMY, send them off, teach them to KILL (which if I remember correctly is MORALLY WRONG IN YOUR BOOK), and then tell them it is an honor for them to die for "their country". So actually, you will kill them or at least send them to de killed. And that should be ok with me? No.
I believe in this country and what it is supposed to stand for and I am glad that I have spent my life here....there is no question that I love where I came from. It's the people the worry me...actually, scare me to death.
Bombing Abortion clinics = death....isn't that right?
But that's not all....I work with youth in my community and recently a young girl came in and she was complaining about pain from her birth control shot. I was a little stunned to hear that she had gotten the shot but I tried to just listen to her. The problem is that some of these methods we are using completely stop your whole cycle. There is something wrong with this. There has to be some affect that this is going to have - we may not know til it's too late. the second problem is that this is the only protection that these young girls are using. Minneapolis has one of the highest STD rates in the nation so this could out to be devastating to the community as a whole, not to mention these young girls (and boys) lives.
I feel like with all these things we are on the path to self destruction. It's hard to watch it all go down and hear everyone's explanation and excuses.
What's goin' on?
Monday, April 18, 2005
How To Be SUCKA FREE!
How to be Sucka Free
10 ways to avoid the suckas, fuckas and dramafied lost ones.
1. Believe people the first time they show you who they are (wise words by Maya Angelou - modified by me)
2. When you notice that people are drawing you into their drama - step back and walk away.
3. Never take anything personal - because other peoples bullshit isn't about you. It's all about them!
4. Never assume anything! We make assumptions that we make ourselves believe are FACTS. Assumptions are NOT facts.
5. Cut them off if they are manipulative - it doesn't matter how long you've known someone. If they are abusing your friendship they do not deserve it. Kick em to the curb and shake it off.
6. Be tackful, sincere and honest.
7. Learn to know yourself with every new day.
8. Don't rely on anyone but YOU. Now, some will disagree with this but this is my list so....that's how it goes.
9. Deal with honest people with integrity - your gut instinct is RIGHT! Cut your losses and move on.
10. Don't be a SUCKA!
HTML©
10 ways to avoid the suckas, fuckas and dramafied lost ones.
1. Believe people the first time they show you who they are (wise words by Maya Angelou - modified by me)
2. When you notice that people are drawing you into their drama - step back and walk away.
3. Never take anything personal - because other peoples bullshit isn't about you. It's all about them!
4. Never assume anything! We make assumptions that we make ourselves believe are FACTS. Assumptions are NOT facts.
5. Cut them off if they are manipulative - it doesn't matter how long you've known someone. If they are abusing your friendship they do not deserve it. Kick em to the curb and shake it off.
6. Be tackful, sincere and honest.
7. Learn to know yourself with every new day.
8. Don't rely on anyone but YOU. Now, some will disagree with this but this is my list so....that's how it goes.
9. Deal with honest people with integrity - your gut instinct is RIGHT! Cut your losses and move on.
10. Don't be a SUCKA!
HTML©
Blogarific Britch
ok so my friend Miranda brought it to my attention that I do not "blog" enough. Most of the things that I put up on my spot are shows, vague information and pictures....Mostly because even though I am a poet, I am not a writer. As you can see I have no idea how to use punctuation and such. So, I think I've been hesitant because of my writing inept-ness.
Tangent #1:
By the way, Miranda and I wrote this today while at Intermedia Arts after the B Girl Be Summit Meeting.....
culturally illiterate / spiritually deaf
holistically retarded / lyrically inept
Sounds like the beginning of a great song to me. lol!
Ok, back on track. This is my attempt at blogging - the REALLY real. If you find this way too boring and unexciting I suggest that you check out my friend Miranda's blog for some five star writing and entertainment.
This time around there will be no fancy stories about Wiscompton or any Hieroglyphics shows. You have to go visit Miranda's blog for that. You know, I'm just gettin into this....so you have to humor me until I get this down.
Until then check this out:
check for the B Girl Be hip hop summit in Minneapolis / June 2005
Tangent #1:
By the way, Miranda and I wrote this today while at Intermedia Arts after the B Girl Be Summit Meeting.....
culturally illiterate / spiritually deaf
holistically retarded / lyrically inept
Sounds like the beginning of a great song to me. lol!
Ok, back on track. This is my attempt at blogging - the REALLY real. If you find this way too boring and unexciting I suggest that you check out my friend Miranda's blog for some five star writing and entertainment.
This time around there will be no fancy stories about Wiscompton or any Hieroglyphics shows. You have to go visit Miranda's blog for that. You know, I'm just gettin into this....so you have to humor me until I get this down.
Until then check this out:
check for the B Girl Be hip hop summit in Minneapolis / June 2005
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