I want to be unique

I have always thought of myself as being unique. Actually, that's not true. I have prided myself in being unique. I remember striving to be unique as a teenager. I didn't want to be like anyone else. I never did anything really extreme. My unique-ness was brought out through creative expression, humor, dance, visual art and the way I dressed.

Now that I'm older and a little more "regular" than I used to be I'm glad that that's how I started out. It helped me become more independent and I am not afraid to express my opinions and thoughts. I express myself through hip hop, spoken word, singing, laughing til I cry....You get the idea.

I recently over heard a conversation where a young female hip hop mc said that she liked being the only girl in her crew because it makes her unique. My heart sunk a little when I heard her. This is where we're at? So, if there were 2 girls in the crew you would no longer be unique?

Has this belief stopped her from collaborating with other women? Probably. If she were to work with another woman would there still be underlying competition (the unhealthy kind)? Would she undermine other's efforts? Or would they undermine hers?

This is a problem in the hip hop community and possibly the whole community. Women feel so competitive against eachother that they can never get too close. We have our friends that we've known for a long time but anyone else has a slim chance to actually become very close to us. There can only be one girl in a hip hop crew. The token. Because you know, women can't get along.

I think this is total crap and at the same time I find myself thinking some of these same things from time to time. But the reality is, what makes me unique is NOT that I am a woman, or the only girl in the crew. What really makes me unique is the fact that only I can tell my story, my way. And I am the only one who knows my whole story.

There's millions of men & women on this earth....But only one of me.

This is where I am from

When people ask me where I am from I always hestitate because everyone seems to be so critical and judgmental. I guess I don't feel like telling people where I am from on the map can give them a clear idea of where I am really from. The people I am from. The love I am from.
My Dad just sent me the story below. Read it and you will have a better idea about where I am from. It's not a state or a town. It's people and their stories. That's where I come from.

Storytellers by Perry Ross

There were at least six storytellers that had a big impact on me during my childhood. There was a cousin, Herb Beard; my grandfather, Perry Mendenhall; Dave Ross, another cousin; a childhood friend named Billy Jackson; and, of course, my mother and father who had a profound impact on me.

Herb was a colorful character that lived along the Skunk River near Faulkner Bridge. He had red hair and was always dressed in bib overalls and seldom wore shoes. He usually didn't wear a shirt under the overalls. The only time I ever saw him with shoes and a shirt was when he came to town and in the wintertime when we visited his house. I am not sure if he owned a coat.

The thing I remember about Herb's stories is that they started almost before you saw him so by the time he got to you he was well into it. He could weave a tail that he swore was true. There are the stories Herb told and then there are many stories about him that I will tell in time.

My grandfather, Perry, was a great storyteller and shared his tales with a smile. He was a great fisherman as well, which naturally goes hand in hand with storytelling. Back before television, great sources of stories were neighbors, friends and relatives who brought news when they came to visit. My mother says in her childhood days her home was a beehive of visitors…everyone with stories to tell and I am sure Grandpa did his share.

Dave Ross, my father's cousin, visited our home many times as I grew up. He originally was from the Merrimac area and liked to reminisce with my father. He often came around Old Threshers time. Each time he came he brought new stories and memories. He was so funny that many times I couldn't contain myself and I would burst out laughing even before he started to talk. Dave watched the stories play out in the eyes of his listeners and could tell when the story was going well and when to add a new twist. He would often begin to get this slight smile on the left side of his lips when he could see the story was going well. Dad taped many of Dave's stories. One I remember was the time Dave went to the doctors in Ottumwa to have a cancerous spot removed from his nose. He said, “They cut me up so bad I didn't know what piece to bring home!” We laughed hard every time he told us that one!

Billy Jackson came to our house regularly as we grew up. He would often show up and stay forever. My mother often had to prompt him repeatedly when it was time for him to go home. I guess he must have liked us. Billy could weave a story like no one else. He would start out with something completely believable and it would grow until it couldn't possibly be true. All the time he would watch your reaction and carve out the story. Most of the time, I think, he knew he wasn't fooling us but that didn't stop him from trying.

Of course, the truly great storytellers in my family were my parents. My mother can paint stories with words that could draw in any listener. I remember, at bedtime, her weaving stories for me using the images on the wallpaper in my bedroom. That wallpaper is still there. When you visit sometime look for the stories on the wall. They are still there. She can make a story out of anything! Mother is such a master of words that she can create vivid images in a line and a whole story in a poem. She still tells about her days with Lucille, the time the gypsies came to their house, riding her horse, her doll being thrown down the cistern, and many more.

My father savored good stories and searched them out by reading, researching, listening to others, and drawing on his own imagination. He would track down local folklore and try to determine if there was some truth to it. I remember him tracking down a story about a boy being killed in the mill at Merrimac. The story was that a boy working there was sent to the third floor of the mill to oil the gears. They were huge and he was pulled into them and crushed. Dad said he saw the blood stains on the floor when he was a boy. For sometime the old timers he talked to said it didn't happen but then his research led him to the Fairfield Ledger with a possible name and a three-year range that it might have happened. After pouring over microfiche of the papers for hours he found the newspaper story about the incident. He was elated.

Although storytelling is entertaining it was and is how we make sense of our life experiences. Sometimes they have to be told over and over before they begin to make sense. I often say, “there is no stopping a good story” It is fundamentally necessary to our existence. Without stories we can never learn. Listen to the stories. Listen to your own story.

Poem

April30, 2005 desdamona
Lips eclipse seduction
rips in hips introduction
to this hiss of meditation
creation tainted by eruption
global malfunction
destruction where there used to be nurture
torture torn and sewn by suture
future unsure a blur - pure
and impure
lure-ing in to truth demise
entranced dance
even fool the wise
close my eyes in awe-ful bliss
don't come close – I just want the kiss
time has caused my rhyme to miss
the target – and now I harness all this
adoration I carry
but the intention – outcome
tend to vary
I marry rhythm for the love of mine
mis-defined love this time
mistified I close my eyes
to rewind and find sublime
love it is not what the say
locked away – in my heart, it stays
sways with rain and wind and light
pouring forward – my delight
capture crust and only see the edge
far from depth – I walk the ledge
dredge through this dichotomy
truth – not what it used to be
come love / rapture in my heart
together when we are part
sufficient, I am separate
until, of love, we both forget
twist the succulent divine
until the you - inside of mine
capture caress upon my breast
be the last - sweetest breath
speak my name after I leave
for it will be
all there is and was of me

Listening

I was recently on KQRS' Homegrown show. It should be up for the next couple weeks at this link:
Homegrown Radio

I'm on the Sept. 4th show. Check it out and leave me some feedback if you feel like it.

Also,if you haven't checked out The Current 89.3fm Minneapolis you should really take a listen. And you can request your favorite local artists too.

Go here to request your favorite Minnesota artists!

The Current

Minneapolis Farmers Market

Join Global Vision Imports this Sunday, September 11th, at the Minneapolis Farmer's Market for a day long celebration of PEACE!!! Music, poetry, dance and more...


WHAT: A day long visualization, celebration, invitation, manifestation of PEACE!
WHERE: The Global Vision booth (look for the PEACE banners) at the Minneapolis Farmers Market...200 Lyndale Ave N. The corner of Glenwood/Lyndale... (under the freeway from International Market Square)

SCHEDULED PERFORMANCES:8-10am:
Open Mic...take a 10 minute block of time to read your favorite peace poem, share some uplifting stories or spread a vision of a world of peace and prosperity for all...
11am: Hip-hop spoken word artist DESDAMONA shares her passion with the incomparable rhythms of LADY TOBALYUS on percussion and guitar.
12pm: Be dazzled by the smooth salsa moves of the lovely Fatima Cochi and her amazing dance partner Luis Garcia.

PLUS>>>
Chair massage, travel talk/slide show, photos for PEACE, uplifting conversation, inspirational reading and heartwarming hugs


***Profits from sales of PEACE merchandise to be shared by the Red Cross ( for Katarina relief) and the MPT (an Iraqi organization headed by local businessman Sami Rasouli working to re-build Iraq)***

Back to the Light

I've noticed that I'm not nearly as nice as a used to be. Actually, I may have been too nice and somehow I have eased my way to the dark side. Maybe it's because bullying can get to a girl. I know we've all been bullied but the thing about it is, we all deal with it in different ways. I guess my way, and I hate to admit it, is to shut down or judge people & hold grudges.

I wish it wasn't true. But I do hold grudges and I will quickly cut someone off if I feel they have treated me disrespectfully or manipulated me. I have many friends who put up with these behaviors from some of their friends. Honestly, it sort seems like martyrdom – but I know that's just me judging again. I just refuse to let people manipulate me. Who knows what they really want from me? I don't want to find out.

I know there are a lot of insecure people out there and of course, we can all be insecure about things. But when your personal insecurities interfear with relationships it gets messy partially because we don't know that we are projecting our insecurities and also because it leads to misunderstandings. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. But then I think of something Maya Angelou said, “When people show you who they are believe them the first time.” Maybe it's harsh but it eliminates the prospect of any further chaos and confusion. I'm all about eliminating chaos.

The people who are my close friends are people I admire, respect, appreciate and in almost every case we can talk about anything. I don't feel manipulated by them and if I did I know I could talk to them about it. My friends have integrity and a good sense of who and what is around them. It's never all about them. They are compassionate and intelligent and I am lucky to have such good people in my life. They teach me to be more accepting and that maybe I'm a little too hard on people. We all make mistakes. We all have faults. They help me to see that holding grudges and judging people only feeds into the behavior, which means I become what I say I hate. I don't want that. No one does. So, it's time to ease back over to the light and let it go. Right? Right! Write.

Preditor & Prey

One of my friends who is a recovering addict told me that when he was having an evaluation upon entrance into a half way house they told him that he was a preditor. I almost laughed when he told me because I had never thought of him in that way. He's probably one of the most polite and respectful men I know, outside of my dad. He told me that he was floored when he was told that he was a preditor and thought it was a bit extreme, to say the least. But he also admitted that he was probably acting like a preditor. He just didn't realize it and how it manipulated others.

I have met preditors up close and personal as I believe that all women have. Now, I'm not talking about rapists or violent people. The preditor behavior I'm talking about is passive aggressive and I think most women find it a form of flattery.

I host an open mic every week at a local restaurant. We have a live band and many artists from various backgrounds who come down to listen or perform. We are just starting our third year and in this time I have been the host and people watcher. I've seen the effect that alcohol can have on nice people, and I have seen idiotic behavior and unnecessary fights, in this mostly peaceful environment. This is also the perfect place for a preditor to scope out and find his next target.

One of the musicians who used to come down on a regular basis was the poster boy for preditor. You may not have known it by looking at him though. He was attractive and works in his church and a leader and director. But when he was present at the open mic he seemed to be an entirely different person. Many times he would come near me, head tilted down, eyes up, looking me up and down....and actually acting like a lion ready for the kill. I'm not overexaggerating. It was blatant and in my eyes, totally disrespectful and made him look like a complete fool.

I asked him to stop numerous times but he contunued as if he thought it was funny. He would say sexual things when he thought he could get away with it – nothing too out there, but enough to make me back up. It was mostly the way he would circle around me or come behind me and pull my hair. There were also times when he came over to me and said, “come here.” as he tried to pull my by the arm over to some other spot in the room. No, he didn't ask me to come over or even take me by the hand. He'd either grab my upper arm or my wrist and try to pull me to where he wanted me to go. My response was to pull away – every time.

The problem with this possessive and preditorial behavior is that many women get treated in this way on regular basis and THEY PUT UP WITH IT! I think that women want someone to want them so badly that they see this behavior as desire and it makes them feel special. And I see some men who act like this and I don't even think that they realize what they are doing. I think we are raising men to act in this way. It's not all their fault....or ours. But, there obviously needs to be a change in how women are treated.

As a women some of the things I have heard men say that were directed towards me have literally made me stop in my tracks...and it wasn't to turn around and say HI. I have had a boy on the street make sexual remarks to me. I could have been his mother. That's how young he was. I've been in the mall and had young men say things as I'm walking down the hall. I've been downtown, walking down the street and a man followed me for a whole block trying to get me to talk to him, telling me he had a bachelor's degree, and sayin, “Come on, I have a college degree. Come on!” Finally, I turned around and said, “Man, I'm trying to walk down the street and I need you to leave me the fuck alone.” He left me alone but he caught a women coming from the other direction.

I don't even feel like walking in my own neighborhood and it's not a fear of violence that stops me. It's that I don't feel like getting howled at or having a car drive slowly down the street only to pull up next to me and stare at me. All of the things I have mentioned can tend to feel like a prison and have also hindered me from doing the things that I want to do. I hate that that is true....but it is.

Women are taught to be aware of others and to mother. I know I'm gerneralizing but I do think that women are more aware of the needs of people around them, even strangers. My hope is that men will start opening their eyes a little wider and even check their own and others actions before doing any of these things to women.

This might sound crazy...

But with the tragedy New Orleans and all the surrounding areas I'm starting to see something locally.

They've been building all these new apartments, and condos...and I have been wondering who the hell is movin in. So now, I have this theory....that within the next 5-10 years a lot of people will be moving to the midwest because of all this terrorism and natural disasters. The midwest has the illusion of being safe and I think people will start migrating to the middle of the nation.

There has been talk of a big earthquake coming on the west coast...seems we're getting hit from every side.

So, I still don't know who is moving in to the new condos but I think Minneapolis is about to have a big population boom. And maybe they have some exceptional city planners who can see stuff like this coming - some kind of psychic - and they're planning ahead. Ok, I know I really sound crazy now but when it happens you'll be like, "yo, des was right!"

Then I can start my 1 800 psychic line....Call me now for your free reading!



peace, des

In the process...

It's been a while. I'm in Philly ending a week long stay to promote my new release, The Ledge. (goto sidebar to check it out on cdbaby.com) It's been a good. HOT trip and I have made many connections and learned a lot along the way. This time around I felt like I was doing a lot of the connecting work. Next time it will be even better.

I met a lot of great people, sold some CD's, spoken to people about some collaborations that I hope to make happen and I performed in some great venues in Philly and NYC.

NYC was HOT...Like, hotter than I can even begin to explain and I had no escape so I just had to deal. Saw the movie Hustle & Flow while I was there and it was better than I had expected. Also played at Asford & Simpson's, Sugar Bar. It was this great little spot in Manhattan and they had incredible sound. ! I played with Gabrielle & Tangible Truth and my friend Rhapsody. The crowd was great and so were all the other performers. I would love to go back and do it all again....without the heat.

Was also on a couple radio stations - Temple University's Radio station in Philly 90.3 fm / and 88.1 fm on Tracee Lynn's show, Writer Blocks. It was great to have the chance to be on Philly radio. Much props to my girls Deirdre & Rhapsody for really making it all happen. Booking, flights, travel and all that including friendship! They went the extra mile to help me out and I am grateful to have people who care so much.

I leave for Minneapolis this coming evening. I wish I could stay longer but I have a feeling I will be back soon.

I Can't Believe it!

FROM SLY & ROBBIE AND ZLINK ENTERTAINMENT:

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE 'PRINCESS OF THE POEM' DESDAMONA FOR YOUR STELLAR ALBUM 'THE LEDGE' AND FOR YOUR THREE...YES, THREE MINNESOTA MUSIC AWARD NOMINATIONS!! NOT BAD FOR A POET, HUH? :)

LET'S ALL GET OUR VOTES IN FOR OUR FAVORITE MN MUSICIANS http://minnesotamusicacademy.org/pdf/MMA_BALLOT_05.pdf
Desdamona was nominated for:

* BEST SPOKEN WORD ARTIST
* BEST HIP HOP RECORDING
* ARTIST OF THE YEAR

CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN, DES!

Another One from my Dad

Confession



I killed them…both of them. It was a cold blooded methodical murder. I shot the first one over and over until it fell to the ground and then I did the same to the other one. I left them dead in the gutter and walked home. I am not proud of this and have regretted it for years. I shouldn’t have done it but it can’t be undone now.



When I first got my gun my parents gave me clear directions about its appropriate use. Don’t shoot people, houses, windows or anything that would break. They did give me limited permission to shoot birds…sparrows and starlings, and never could I shoot a robin. They didn’t say anything about doves.



So, in a short time, all of the birds in the neighborhood were wise to me and flew away quickly if they saw me with the B-B gun. That is when I spotted the pair of Mourning Doves on the telephone wires at the corner of Madison and White. I walked to the corner and stood under them and pumped B-Bs into each one until they fell to the ground. I was puzzled that they didn’t try to fly away even after I started shooting them. After the first one was killed the second one stayed on the wire until I had completed the dirty deed. The Guide to North American Birds says that doves are a solitary bird that sometimes feed in flocks. I don’t believe it. This was a pair and I have seen them in pairs in my yard many times.



When the neighbor on the corner reported to my mother what I had done she was heartbroken. She was so upset that she didn’t or couldn’t say much to me but I knew what I had done was terribly wrong. My father’s only comment was something like, “You give a boy a B-B gun and he’ll shoot anything.” I wasn’t punished but felt like I should have been.



I have heard people say and have said myself that having a dove visit you is a sign of good luck. Several pairs have nested and raised their young in our yard each year. They seem to use our deck as a play pen for their immature young. It is fenced in for the most part and safe from cats. The adults usually stand watch on one of the posts. These doves act as though they know me and are a reminder of my childhood foolishness. They don’t seem to fear me at all and I can pass within a few feet of them without them even acting nervous. I think doves are a sign of good luck and, maybe, even forgiveness. I hope so!

poem

12/26/04 Reach Past This - by Desdamona

Reach
past this
flesh
Those who create have mastered the art of living forever
even if they only exist to collect dust
Up in attics there are stacks of inspiration
Down in basements where there are lost archives
singing, playing, speaking, moving
patiently waiting for someone to find them again
Reach past this flesh
This is your chance
to tell your story
My father told me that the greatest thing that I could give the world
is my story, my voice, my perspective
because no one else can tell it
So, go tell it
Reach past this flesh
Poets create new life in new worlds
because this one seems so hard to survive in
so they write new realities
turning casualties into martyrs, heros and myths
This is beyond any one culture or any one belief
These stories belong to the people who receive them
not to the people who speak them
These stories come from cities and villages all over the world
There is no culture or continent that has no story to tell
reach past this flesh
and rest inside so that you can better understand
your reality
It is not whether the story is true or false
It's the story that matters
the expression and existence, the proof that we were here
We have no right to stop the story
to abandon or misplace it
We must tell the story
so that it can continue
Tell a story that does not yet exist and watch it turn into reality
Reach past this flesh
and you will know that life is eternally spinning, weaving
and creating new stories and new life
Look into a babies eyes and you will see a life that you cannnot even begin to imagine the span of
cannot predict the future for, cannot fully give them the story of the past so that they can truly grasp all the lessons that should have been learned in the process
Reach past this death
and know without a doubt
that your story will change lives
no matter how slightly
and be confident that your breath had purpose beyond it's capacity

Strange but true

ok, it's about 9 minutes after 1am. I have been up watching movies and I heard something outside my window. It's usually pretty quiet in my neighborhood so I went to look and see what it was.

There were 2 women and one was leaned up against a car. The other woman was hitting her with a belt. They were both laughing. The started to get back in the car and I heard one of them say she didn't get enough. So, they came back to the front of the car and then they switched places. This time one of them hit the other with a paddle. Then after about 5 good hits they got in their car and drove away.

Right about now, I'm laughing out loud because I have no idea what the hell that was all about. I guess that's life on a Friday night in the city. ooooooooo kayyyyyyy!

What a Woman Should Do....

...to keep a man.

It's a set up! I have been reading a hearing these lists on the radio and in magazines. At first, I listened simply wondering what the hell they were going to say. Not that I need a list to tell me how to keep a man but I'm thinking, who wrote this list?

Here are some of the things on the list:
Shave your legs
Don't gain weight
Don't let yourself go
Keep your hair long

You know the rest. Pathetic. Most of the men I know "let themselves" go as they get older. I guess I don't even see it as that. It's more like, you're getting older and you slow down. I just love how women are held to higher standard than men and we are supposed to be the ones who try to "keep a man". How about respecting me enough to want to try and "keep" me. Not keep, as in a "kept woman"....but you know what I mean.

I just think that these days women are pitted against eachother more than ever and lists like these don't help matters. When you tell someone that they have to fight for things it sets them up for failure and disaster when it comes to relationships. It would be nice if the list was like this.

Be yourself
Love yourself
Do what's right for you

Well, that is what my list is. And if and when that person comes around they will see that and say, "well damn, she's a keeper!" ;)

Pictures from Tramaganum Release Party!

1. ME and my flashy bracelet
2. Desdamona (ME) & singer Debra G
3. Me & Ray Banderez (I know we look like we're together - but, he's not my boyfriend..He's just a boy friend. ;)

New Religion

religion n. (all that centers about man's belief in or relationship to a superior being or beings) 1. belief in worship of God or gods 2. a specific system of belief, worship, etc., often involving a code of ethics.

My aunt is a minister. One unlike any other I have met - not that I have met that many. She is a truly spiritual and caring person - not condemning or elitist. I realized after reading her latest newsletter that she has actually created her own religion. Her own habits and customs.

As I read, it made me smile. I had always thought that I didn't really belong to a particular religion. None really suited me the way that I thought they should. Nothing felt just right. But what feels right is something that I do religiously, which is write anmd express my poetry. I have always considered them prayers...because they are reminders to me of who am and what I should be.

As I finished my aunt's newsletter I realized that all of the people in my life have their very own religion. My father is a fisherman and story teller. He seems to enjoy helping people and has a hard time saying no. (this is true for most of my family)My mother is a seemstress and likes to create things, watch over people and make sure that everything is just right. My sister is a teacher who is active in her community and seems to always be busy with something. My friend Rachel is a filmmaker, mother and she is always pushing the boundaries within herself and others. And my fried Deirdre is also a mother, friend and very organized person who goes the extra mile when she believes in something.

These people all have their own individual religion. The thing that keeps them going, makes them happy, and keeps them gounded. They all have a great sense of community which shines through in all their actions. It's not about going to church or even claiming a particular religion. These people are true to themselves and others, giving and caring people. I don't know exactly what they believe deep in their hearts but I know that they all feel love, lonliness, compassion, respect, joy, saddness and have a strong will to live. And they religiously reach for something better every day.

Assignment for the Day!

Your Sanctuary

Make a list of things they would make your sanctuary - your sacred place.

What does it smell like?
Look like?
Sound like?
Feel like?
If it could speak what would it say?
How was it created?
What is it made of?

write it down. Creat your sanctuary.

TapeRecorda Duplicata

I have been performing in the Twin Cities since 1997 and over the years I have seen a lot of great performers with unique, interesting styles and modes of expression. My favorites are always the ones who have their own little twist. Tops on my list are Brother Ali, Slug, Truth Maze, the now defunct 3 Kings, and Carnage. Unfortunately there is a down side to the scene that people don't seem to talk about too much. It's the "Duplicator syndrome", as I like to call it. There are a plethera of clones who seem to be so influenced by some of the better known MPLS hip hop cats that they sound like another version of them. I find it disturbing and uninspiring...and very, very disappointing.

I don't know if it's conscious thing or if it's just from listening to a particular artist way too much. And, I don't know why anyone would ever want to sound like someone else. You will always end up second best. Not that the point is to be the best...But isn't it to be unique and to tell your story, your way?

There are a lot of baby Slug's - male and female. I suppose you could say it's a form of flattery but I find it a form of annoyance. Some say it's the "Minneapolis Sound" and I disagree. If it was the "Minneapolis Sound" then everyone would sound the same. Musab doesn't sound like Slug or vice versa. Ali doesn't sound like I Self Devine, etc....

Picture this...2 Mos Def's. What would it be like if there were 2 of him? Umi said, "...shine your light on the world. Shine YOUR light for the world to see." When the world sees you shining your neighbors flashlight the next thing they will notice is your falseness. I find is passive-aggressively disrespectful to the person who is being biten. Riding off of what someone esle has created is slimy and dishonest in my eyes. The mainstream is already saturated with stuff that sounds so similar that you don't even think about who the MC is. I don't know why this happens because in the end, people don't remember who won the award or who was being played all the time. They remember who stood out, who was ahead of their time, who didn't get enough shine.

I wish that people would strive to find their own voice and not worry about what's "in" or what people are already hooked into. To truly grow we need more unique voices out there to push forward. We should be incomparable. Memorable. Undefinable. Undeniably Original.

Random, Breathing, Creativity

Once again, it is too hot. The day started off with a nice thunder storm and pouring rain. It was about 75 degrees and windy. The weather man kept saying it was going to get up to 100. I didn't believe it because at 1:30 it wasn't even above 80 yet. But, here I am in my un-airconditioned apartment sweating my bootay off in the heat. Nope, I still haven't bought that airconditioner.

Other than that, everything is good. I performed at The Fallout Art Festival to a crowd of about 20 people and when I walked off stage someone bought a CD from me right then. That was nice. Small crowds are harder than a room full of people. But you do what you do and someone always appreciates it.

For the past 2 weeks I have been doing at least one thing every day to promote my newly released CD and today I haven't done ANYTHING>>> I promised myself that I would do one thing every day to promote the CD. That way I couldn't be mad at myself for not putting out the effort. I guess the show today was effort...So, maybe I did do something.

Soon my website will have some of my poetry & lyrics up so watch for that in the days to come. My site address is listed on the side of my blog and you can click and go.

Leave me a message. peace, des

Sold Out

Not many people can say that they can sell out the largest venue in their city but RhymeSayers can. Tonight was the 10th Anniversary Party for RSE and the place was packed.
I didn't get there until around 9pm. I was hoping to miss some of the crowd. But, when I got there there was a sea of people waving their hands in the air. It was HOT and crowded, loud and fresh. Of course, I missed a large portion of the show but I saw a number of performers. I also saw my girl Rachel across the sea taking pictures from the stairs. Never saw her after that....
I saw a lot of local hip hop cats outside of RhymeSayers like, Carnage, Adam Garcia, Franz Diego, MissRead, Dancin Dave and many more. I'm sure I missed a few because I never really got to the other side of the room.
I couldn't help but stand there and smile at what RhymeSayers has created over the years. I wish them much more success in the years to come and I am happy that they represent Minneapolis and themselves the way they do.

(above is a picture of RhymeSayers artist and my friend, Brother Ali...You're now rockin with the champion!)

the best salsa ever!

All summer long I make salsa. I can't stand the stuff in jars. I think it's disgusting and it doesn't even taste right. Once you've had real salsa there's no going back to the jar stuff. So, here's how to make it yourself. Taste it along the way and add or subtract to your liking.

3 or 4 decent sized tomatoes
1 onion (red and sweet onion)
2 cloves of garlic
cilantro
1 jalepeno pepper - if you like it HOT!!!! Try Habanero, but be careful!
ground cumin (add as much as you like)
A pinch of sugar
A pinch of salt

Dice up the vegetables and add the other ingradients. Then get your bag of chips and eat up!!! You won't be able to stop.
My mom adds a little red wine vinegar to hers.

Realistically Romantic

ok, so what's with people (women in particular) who say things like, "...When I was 22 I decided that I would be married by the time I was 28. Now I'm 28 and I'm not married. Where I come from, 28 is old...." What the hell is this?

Or the people who say that they didn't really want to get married but they did it because it was "...the right thing to do." What? The right thing to do it to be true to yourself.

Or the, "Well, we've been together for a long time...we might as well get married." No. You should get married because you want to. Not because it's the right thing to do. Or because of pressure.

Which brings up another issue I have with the topic of marriage...People who pressure their partners to get married. Geez, if you have to pressure someone do you really think that that's what they want. Aren't you just guilting them into a situation. Something that over 50% of the time ends in divorce.

I'm all for love and relationships but this whole, "I should be married by..." is total crap and so unrealistic. I think that when it's really right you just know it. There is no, "we might as well." or anything. It just is. And it's good.

I know people don't want to be alone...but I know there are plently of married people who feel very alone. So, being married doesn't cure loneliness. It's just an illusion. Take your time. As much time as you need. And you may have to wait a long time but it will be worth the wait. Settling for something less will only bring pain.

Too Damn HOT!

ok, I'm a midwestern girl. Grew up in Iowa where the four seasons are apparent and beautiful. Now I live in Minnesota which is about 6 hours north of my home town. The seasons here are simliar but after living here for about 10 years I have noticed the difference between here and my origin. Here there are basically 2 seasons. When we get four it's out of the oridinary. This year was one of those out of the ordinary years. We've had every season and I have been enjoying it until recently. Our 7 day stint of atrocious heat has driven me to buy another fan for my house and now I am seriously considering buying an air conditioner. Someone told me they're only $60 at Target. But, since I've waited so long there are probably none left.

Now, I am sort of a wimp when it comes to summer. Unless there is some water around I don't really care to be outside. Give me below 80 degrees and I'm fine. But after that I become sluggish and lazy. As I am now.

It has been above 90 and I know that there are some states that I have been to where the thermostat goes above and beyond what I consider hot. I have expereinced those places and honestly I don't know how people survive.

So, I am trying to think cool thoughts. I brought some bribery treats to my friend Rachel (who has air conditioning)I came with gifts of Hostess Ding Dongs, Hershey's chocolate, Kit Kat, KC Masterpiece Chips and soda. The request was for treats and chocolate so I do believe I came through. And my gift is to sit in the air conditioning.

Come Back To Life

Today is when it starts. You come back to life. You do something that you don't usually do. Go somewhere alone and enjoy it.

Or, have dessert and love every last bite

go swimming

sit in the sun for at least 15 minutes while drinking the lemonade you just sqeezed yourself

go to the record store and look for some good music

get a pedicure

get a massage

if you're single ask someone out with no expectations

take a drive to who knows where

get a new pair of shoes to walk around the lake in

call a friend you haven't seen in a while and have lunch

rent a bunch of movies, have lots of treats and invite a friend over to enjoy it with you

go listen to live music

A Day in the Sun and The Darkest Night

Yesterday I decided to do something for myself. My friend Rachel and her 8 year old daughter Tiana, along with another little friend went to the swimming pool. It was really good for me. We were only there for about an hour but the mixture of sun and water helped me a lot. I guess I can't really explain what it did but I needed it.

Then last night at the open mic that I host at the Blue Nile Restaurant all these great people kept showing up. People I haven't seen in a while...and people who I really like to see. We had a really good, eclectic show and then around 12:30am the lights went out. But the show didn't stop. There was still the drum and the voice. And everybody stayed for over a half on hour either taking part in the cipher or listening. It was really fun and again, I needed that. The light never came back on so we all left a little earlier than normal.

Here Kitty, Kitty

Yesterday my neighbors called me to tell me that there had been a large group of cats on my back porch earlier that morning. Think horror movie...

So I went to the back when I got off the phone and there was one little guy left. I wasn't sure if he was tame so I just left some food for him and went away. He left shortly after I gave him the food and I haven't seen him since.

Today, I was on my way home from teaching a workshop and as I was driving down my block I see this big group of cats in someone's front yard. I knew theses had to be the same cats that had been on my porch so I decided to call animal control to see if they would come and pick them up. Or something.

When I called the operator told me that there is no leashing law so they can't come and pick them up. She told me that if they were in a cage or a box they could come and pick them up. I was thinking, "If I got them in a cage I would just bring them to you." Isn't this what "animal control" is supposed to do....pick up strays, and
"fix" them so that they don't continue to breed and get out of control?

I love animals but the thought of a bunch of stray cats roaming around my house isn't cool. And if they keep having more and more babies, it will be insane. Of course, I suppose it is possible that these cats have an owner but I find it hard to believe.

It's in the Family

The Great Flower Bulb War - by my Dad...a.k.a. Perry O. Ross

Growing up I, and most of the kids I knew, had the run of the town. At one time or another we might be in any corner of the community and I don't think I was ever afraid. Since organized activities for kids were limited in those days we had to invent or create our own entertainment. I had my best times, far greater times, in those invented activities than in the organized ones. I think I learned more too. I was never at a loss for something to do and don't remember being bored. We were often very creative.

One game that we played community wide was Army. Kids would join one side or the other and the game might last for days. Today such games are considered too violent for kids but we didn't worry about things like that back them. We knew it was just a game.

One day in the middle of one of these three-day wars we met in our garage in the morning to plan the assault on Pat Fitch's troops that were bivouacked in Saunders Park. As we were discussing our plan one of our troops arrived. It was Billy Jackson. He had a huge grin on his face. He said, “Look!” and held out his hand. In it rested a flower bulb. “Hand grenades!” he said and we all ooohed and awed. He had discovered the newly planted flower bulbs in the Clark's garden on the corner near his house.

We knew immediately we needed a lot more and went to the garden and filled our pockets and carried all we could hold. We no sooner got back to my house and my mother was on us! Now my mother didn't typically get too upset but she clearly was this time. Mrs. Clark had watched us from her house as we did our dirty work in her garden.

The punishment, besides the scolding I got, was for us to replant, as best we could, all of those bulbs under the supervision of my father and Mr. Clark.

We were impulsive kids; I guess, and sometimes did things with little thought of the implications. We really didn't think we were stealing flowers. We thought we were simply gathering ammunition for the war. That was one time our creativity didn't pay.

Toot Your Own Horn...Or, Let Someone Else Do It

The first time I heard Desdamona I was at a hip hop show in Minneapolis. When she stepped up on the stage with her slightly tussled hair in two hair buns, sweet subtle smile and natural serene beauty, I would have never expected to hear what it is that flew off of her tongue. She showed strong lyrical talent in many different fashions and on various levels. It was almost like everything that lay dormant in my head but never would have dreamt of putting into a lyrical concoction came flowing out of her mouth. So when I heard her full-length debut album, “The Ledge” was out on the shelves, I was eager to find out if this poetic princess would impress me the way she did that night on stage.

Desdamona has many different explanations for what “The Ledge” means to her, which she took the time to write out in her album liner notes. So listeners may feel like they are given a glimpse of her thought process even before they actually listen to the album. Desdamona wastes no time grabbing the attention of true Hip Hop lovers with a creation spit a cappella called, “I Wanted To Be an MC”. This is a tribute to all the great M.C.’s who we grew up on when we initially embraced this culture as our own. With this heartfelt piece, Desdamona tells the story of an eager female struggling to establish herself as a viable entity in the vast biosphere that is Hip Hop. She intricately weaves the names of various well-known artists in such a fashion that you have no choice but to chuckle over. Indeed a great intro to her album.

Desdamona is provided the perfect platform for her mission to define herself as she chooses varying tempos of well-arranged, high-caliber production. I was most pleasantly moved by the “Don’t Listen 2 The Lyrics”. Produced by the infamous reggae pioneers, Sly & Robbie (also the producers of half the album), this track may throw you off because it starts off sounding like just another R. Kelly bootie shaking “Fiesta” beat. But instead of lyrics reflecting demeaning images and views of women like we would normally expect, it consists of the exact opposite. It tells the tales of how we as females always feel we fall short of the images that the media, mainstream radio and videos expects us to live up to. Like the lyrics go: “The mainstream seeps into subconscious/And slowly she feels worthless/like success might lie in a bikini on uncut BET…”

Onto a different vibe, “Swing Down” boasts the smooth laid back track with Desdemona’s crisp sultry voice, in which she sings the entire song. I have to say her singing is quite impressive, as this track gives the prolific Neo-soul reminiscent Goapele a run for her money! Desdamona shows a very intimate side of herself that we can all relate to.

I must say I was waiting for some real show off, back in the day, scratchin’ now and again on this album. Not to mention that I have a strong desire to hear her sing entire songs, in an attempt to master yet another angle of vocalization. Although Desdamona prides herself in being a spoken word extraordinaire, this album contains something to get your booty grooving or your mind a thinking. Whether you are into Spoken Word, Neo- Soul, Reggae, Hip Hop, or even R&B there is something here that will kick flava in your ear.

Desdemona recites lyrics on this album suggesting she has spent much of her life reading poetry, listening to old school jams & studying the rhymes of hip hop pioneers far and wide reflecting exactly who she is as an artist. She sets out to inform you of what esoteric thoughts her mind manufactures in a skillfully poetic manner, while maintaining a knack to entertain the listener. Mmmm…Mission accomplished.

Charli Marie

And the saying goes...

You know how people always say that you have to struggle to get to the top or that there is always a struggle to get where you are going...and how it makes you appreciate it more. As this has been true for me throughout my life...I have to say that I think it's a lie. I mean, I don't believe that you HAVE to go through hell to get to the good stuff. I think that's a lie we tell ourselves so that when we go through the crappy stuff the good stuff is just on the other side and we deserve it- so don't worry. It's coming. It somehow makes it easier.

I feel like this mindset can really be our downfall. It's like, "Well, I gotta go through hell to get anything good. I just need to toughin up and I'll make it." eh! And I think a lot of people use it as their crutch to never try and have something good.

I think most of it really comes down to bad decision making and lack of intuition. When I go through rough spots it's a direct reflection of the decisions I made along the way. I have myself to blame...but I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I'm going to get through it not because I want to...but, because I have to. And not because I have to go through maddness to get to happiness.

I'm not into "self help" books but this past year I ran across "the four agreements" and it has actually changed my perspective a lot - and has molded this post. The book is really about looking at things in a different way. There are other books by the same author that explore philosophies and present ways of dealing with things in a different way. It's worth the read. I think I can garantee that anyone who reads it will walk away with something.

It wasn't my intention to promote the book in this post but as I was typing I realized that some of the ideas I was writing were a direct reflection of the book - so I decided to use the space to talk about it.

Rambling on & on,
desdamona

Desdamona's Picks

Movie:
Dangerous Beauty - based on Veronica Franco. The true story of a women (poet) who defied convention in 16th century Venice.

Lagally Blond - because it's just fun & cute.

Books:

1. The Poisonwood Bible
2. The Red Tent
3. The Crimson Petal and the White (I'm intrigued by stories of women/outcasts in society and how they survived)
4. Testimony of an Irish Slave Girl
5. The Four Agreements
6. The Trouble with Christmas

All of these books changed me in some small way. Most of my choices deal with spirituality, survival, and people who have been outcast. All of the above picks deal with those topics in some way or another.

What's Goin' Down On The Up-Side

You should check my girl Rachel's blog. She's a phD student at the U of M and she is doing amazing things. The latest on her blog is information about an online hip hop class.



Also, check Miss Miranda Jane's Blog to catch up on current events in the hip hop realm and more. This girl can type/ write her ass off and she mos def has some stories to tell.

I know I've posted links to their blogs in the past but this is just a gentil reminder that you should really check these lovelies out. And, if you feel the urge leave comments on their blogs. They would love to hear from you.

One Campaign

Support the ONE Campaign!

Every day is the end of the world for someone

When I watched the news today my heart sank. The bombings in England are yet another sign that will live in an extremely volitile world. Fundamentalists often talk about "the end" coming soon. They've been talking about this for years. The things is, it's the end of the world every single day for someone living on this planet. 10 people died in that bus today in England. How many more were injured in the 4 explosions? How many will never forget that moment for the rest of their lives?

Later in the day I watched Oprah. It was a re-run of the "Undercover Brother" phenomenon. Men who are supposedly "straight" and married or in relationships with women who secretly pursue sexual relationships with other men. It seems like no one is using protection anymore.

Oprah stated that 78 percent of the new HIV cases for women were African American women. This is a devistating number. I have heard people say that it is inaccurate but at this point I think that debating it's accuracy is a disservice to the people of this country. Something is very wrong. Even if this disease had only struck ONE person...That is one life that we would have lost due to ignorance and secrecy.

The truth is that this disease is running rampant through almost every community - from small towns, elderly communities, colleges, arts communities, and on and on and on. It will not stop. People fear to find out if they are infected because they say it will destroy them. But, I think that the truth is not that they are afraid it will destory them....but that it will hinder them from being able to pursue sexually intimate contact with others without feeling guilty or having to tell the truth.

We all want love, sex, intimacy. The reality of knowing that you may not be able to experience this intimacy and the stigma that we have placed on the disease stops people from wanting to know if they are infected. Can we create a world where you can love someone deeply and truly and be satisfied without being sexual - or find ways to be sexual without risking another persons life or health? I don't know the answer but I wish I did.

This world keeps becoming more scary to me. Every day I try to create something from love, concern, compassion, understanding and life. We need to come back to life.

As someone who rarely gets into the holiday spirit I have to say that this 4th of July was a good one. Normally I don't even think about the 4th until someone invites me over to a party. Part of my disinterest is due to the whole drinking binge senario that usually brings out all the people looking for an excuse to get stupid. The other reason would be that....well, that's another post.

I spent the early part of my day with my old roommate and we had lunch at a little taco place on Hennepin. Nothing fancy but it was good and so was the conversation.

Later in the day I hooked up with a friend - actually it was Chris Allen the artist who designed my CD cover. Inkproof Designs We went to a friend and hung out most of the day eating and talking in the shade with a bunch of people I didn't know. Everyone was cool and interesting - and amazingly, not drunk. We watched some pretty mediocre (loud) fireworks courtesy of the neighbors. We humans sure are fascinated by fire and explosions. I guess I'm kind of over the whole fireworks thing. Hopefully I don't sound too unPatriotic. But everytime I see the big city fireworks it just makes me think of how much money is blowing up in the sky...and about what I would do with that money, or what the city could do with that money. I suppose I get the point behind it but it just doesn't seem worth in to me. It just seems like a waste. A pretty, patriotic, priveleged, loud, smelly waste.

How about instead of that super duper, curly q, multi colored, thousand dollar stick of dynamite we put that money into the arts programs in inner city schools. Or how about feeding some of these people?

The great thing about these holidays is really the getting together of people, families, friends. I tend to forget that I have people who care about it. I get so wrapped up in things, frustrations, life...that I forget that I can just hang out with my friends and have a good time every once in a while. Happy 4th. 5th. 6th....you get the idea.

My NEW RELEASE - "the ledge" - where you can get it!!!

Purchase my new release Here

Response to B Girl Be

a cacophony of skins and verbs danced in my dreams last night
painting the 7 wonders of the world across my heart
pulling strings, making me move
their paint rolling & dripping past perceptions of my identity
turning my lips green like these speaking trees around me
splashing my cheeks yellow with the intensity of intention
fire ball burning bright inside my wide spirit
my eyes covered in brilliant blue hues
clouding my vision from all the atrocities they usually see
& giving me a tiny piece of hope
they turned my hands over and in the pale they placed
the deepest purple
as they circled silently around me
building rituals to ground me
language has not stifled these
communicating through cultural & language barriers, pictures & rhythms
we all climbed the razor wired divisions
aquiring no cuts or scars
to meet eachother in the silence
their painted poems are stinging, ringing in my ears
tatooed on my fingertips
leaving new fingerprints
and as these are etched into my forever
women are being birthed from between the mortar and brick
slipping out to sidewalk slick, rain bliss
balancing on linoleum love poems
breathing through gas masks because their breath has been held so long
that it has become to dense to put back into the atmosphere
little girls are being unstitched, given back their humanity
lips bubbling with words so stifled
they sweat with punctuated perfection
we are being watched in awe and fear
because our power is so great they are afraid we will abuse it
but they do not know us
they do not know what we know
or love what we love
love how we love
The truth is stretching across a new frame
skin canvasses covering the vast open spaces
that we used to think were empty
transplanting our spirits back into the rich soil
flowering in the desserts
pulling water from the other side of the earth to our roots
we have come from light to darkness and through it all again
because our resilience has given us a strength incomprehensible
our voices are echoing past denial
prevailing over persecution and prejudice
proliferating the pages that captured us before
in one sided love poems
we are telling the stories of who we are
and in the process
we are changing the consciousness of the world

Beautiful

I love beautiful people
who are ugly sometimes
beautiful people
who wear no disguise
beautiful people
too smart to be wise
beautiful souls & beautiful minds
I love beautiful speech
that reaches to teach
adore wonderful magic
I reach to explore
I'm enamered with love
I want to endure
on & on & on
I love expressive songs
that write the wrong
grateful for the ones
who make me feel strong
keep close to my heart
my own true song
and I sing it on & on
I found my voice not long ago
and I believe in the power
of collective soul
I spread my story
'cause I'm tryin' to relate
believe in the possibility of social change

And I changed my name
'Cause I changed my mind
I changed my direction to see what I could find
I changed my perspective
'Cause I learned somethin' new
I change like the season
that's how I do

The Genesis of B Girl Be

Today at Intermedia we had our first open discussion on the creation and evolution of the B Girl Be Summit. It turned out to be more fabulous than I had expected. Miranda Jane was the camera woman and the curating team (Deanna, Rachel, Melisa, Leah and Myself) along with Theresa (the driver of this B Girl Bus)all talked about our contribution to the creation of the new little B Girl Baby.

People from the community came to listen & ask questions. And from what I heard, many stayed after it was over to continue discussions. I had to leave to get to the "where my girls at?" conference happening in downtown Minneapolis at the Radisson. I have been a part of this event for the past 4 years and every year I am more honored to be there. Today, it was an extension of the discussion that happened at Intermedia Arts.

I arrived at the Radisson and waited for all the youth to gather back in the conference room after their workshops. They all got the chance to tell about their experience and talk about what they learned.

Tawanna Harper, the creator of "where my girls at?" was there. Every year she amazes me with her presence, her stories and her leadership. I wish that every woman I know could have the chance to meet her. She is truly an amazing woman, activist and organizer.

I performed a poem called, "Don't listen to the lyrics" after I heard the youth talk about their experiences. Hip Hop music was a hot topic. My poem spoke directly to what some of these young women were struggling with. Just one more piece of eveidence that tells me I'm doing the right thing.

Things are about to change people. I can feel it in the air...in the music...and in my heart. All of these things are happening - building up to something big. And to all the women who are fearlessly stepping forward, ready to fight - get ready 'cause it may be a rough ride but I know it will be worth it.

Today was fabulous, energizing and motivating. Inspiring, or course. If you missed it don't worry, there is more to come. Check out Intermedia Arts for more info on the B Girl Be Summit. It's history in the making...Or should I say, HerStory in the Making.

Elevation - Illumination

I haven't officially "released" my CD but I have been selling them. The plan is to sell them myself until after the B Girl Be summit. Then I will put them in stores and have a release party.

The experience of putting this project has been amazing and without the help of my closest friend, Deirdre I wouldn't have been able to do any of it. Seriously. She has helped with every aspect and I appreciate her beyond belief.

I have learned so much and I hope the CD is a success. So far, all I have gotten is great feedback. And now, all I can think about is what's next. I have lots of new material waiting to be worked out. And I'm excited about the possibilities. This is the first time I've ever been able to really see growth in my work and it's awesome and scary at the same time.

I am hoping to do a couple of EP's in the near future. One that is more experimental and one that is maybe more of a maxi single. We'll see if I can make it happen.

If you are interested in checking out my new CD - email me at desdamona4@aol.com

I will be putting it on CDBABY.COM very soon.

peace
des

Good Girl

My whole life I have been a good girl. Really. You can ask my parents. Now, I'm not sayin' I never got in trouble or did anything bad...but I stayed out of trouble as much as possible.

Growing up with an older sister to make all the mistakes first benefited me because I used what happened to her to guide me. I just knew that I didn't want to get in trouble. It's not like my sister was always in trouble but, the times I witnessed her get in trouble were enough to let me know that that's not where I wanted to be. This is all leads up to the life I live today. I don't drink and never have. I have tasted alcohol but I have never been drunk, tipsy or even had a drink. It never really interested me even when all my friends did it. When I look back I don't know if it was because I was afaid I would get caught or if it was just that I was determined not to be like everyone else.

I don't smoke but tried it once in college and it made me horribly sick. So, that never happened again. I didn't have sex until college and unfortunately that was a mistake too. Not that any of these things would have made me a bad girl but had I done them it would have definitely made me a different person than I am today.

I never got away with anything I had done it when I was young. I wasn't a good liar and I really didn't like to lie - so, I just figured that I wouldn't...besides, it seemed to me like I always got caught.

As an adult I am pretty much the same. Recently I was workin at a local St Paul theater and I had gotten in trouble for sitting and watching the play one night. I was told not to do it again. The next show came around and I did not sit in the theater once until the last night when one of the actors kept encouaging me to watch. He said it was my last chance and that I had to watch it. I said no and he continued to "peer pressure" (haa) me into it. I don't know why the peer pressure worked because it never had before.

I go in to sit down right inside the door, just in case I needed to leave. I wasn't inside for a minute when the actor came and said that a late arrival needed me to seat them. This happened one more time and I decided not to go back in and sit down. But of course, the actor again told me to go ahead.

This time I was sitting there for less than 5 minutes and guess who walks in the door.....the executive director of the theater. He came in and sat right next to me. bah!!!! I sat there trying to be invisible, thinking, "oh...he doesn't know it's me. It's too dark in here for him to tell." But after a few minutes next to him I couldn't take it anymore. I had to leave.

This is the story of my life. I'm not a good girl because I want to be. It's just that I always seem to get caught, even with the small things. My guilty conscience only feeds my good behavior and makes me strive to be the best good girl. How bleepin annoying is that!

link up

Rae's Blog

Intermedia Arts

Hard Knock Radio

Davey D

Jeff Chang

Style Wars

DUNATION

MJ's Blog

The Ledge

Well....finally....My CD's are on their way to me. This has been the longest process - patience is not my strong suit and this experience has demanded my complete humbled patience. It was worth the wait. But damn. I hope it doesn't take that long to get the next project out.

check my website below. There will soon be updates on when the release will be and where you can pick up your very own copy of my full length release, The Ledge. Also, check out DUnation for local Twin Cities hip hop shows, artists, shit talkin' and all that jazz.

www.desdamona.dunation.com

Triple Goddess

this was written in the spirit of all the b girls across the world who have pushed their way into the cipher / are brave enough to take the rhyme higher / not afraid to break it down - neva to expire / taggin' mad skillz - runnin' free, dancin' like a live wire / all the ladies who have babies by b boys comin' up / the ones who got beat down and told to shut f up / things comin' full circle and it's about that time / that we take back, take back / that I take back the rhyme.

Tyeisha was a b girl from way back / used to get mess'd with cuz she was too black / had an older brother who could rap / she used to follow him round the hood and watch him rip cats / with lyrcials bats - bold freestyles / all her brother's friends told her she had a beautiful smile / she was a quiet, fiend for the word, kinda bright child / didn't know anything other than this boogie down lifestyle / she wrote poems in alleys, backstreets and subways / she walked rhythms, bouncin' beats, birthin' b girl beauty every day / she was bound and determined to live life her way / say what she gotta say / never to be brought down / she put fierce fire on display / she would leave her mark and be gone without a trace / she didn't need a face - just a place to lay sunsets and bright beams, streamin' through her melancholy streets / Tyeisha's gone now but what she left behind was peace.

Neyla grew up a minority, majority in her neighborhood - with Native and Irish blood / she was intrigued / entranced by the way the words danced past the here and now to future dreams of what could be / so she decided to write / thinkin' it was the only way she could get free / nobody believed that she could rock the mic right / so she would stand in front of the mirror and recite until daylight / crafting poems that sounded like rhymes, that sounded like songs / and she used them to pray so she called them psalms / on her palms there were traces of ink laced with inspiration / drawing pictures of new princesses - creating new interpretations / rewriting her history so there was no mystery to be seen / divine internal - mother eternal. D.I.M.E. / she slept on lyric sheets, drinking dreams of goddess nectar / always schemin' about the ways she could bring the people all together / intuitively she was love at it's ulitimate height / and she truly believed in every word that she would write.

Then there was D / torn between 2 worlds of confusion / brought up between reality and illusion / a collision of matter and anti-matter / she would make music and turn it into movement / envoking, provoking, evoking images of disaster and peace / her energy never ceased / rate of heart beat increase as she break to the beat / got the people out their seats just to see her sweets / couldn't quite catch every movement of her feet / in awe of her timing / it's like when she danced, she was rhyming / clmbing the ladder of eternity / dancing for all the spirits that have left their bodies / calling in ghosts to possess her form with the life of 10 thousand peoples / it was like when she danced she balanced out everything / to keep it equal / she had so much love she didn't know what to do with herself / couldn't live without the rhythm / it was the only thing she really felt / so she would slip down city streets in shell toes andb girl flare / she'd be dancin' with the wind and everyone would stare.

Take back. take back. take back the rhyme
break back. break back. break back through time
make that. make that. make that divine.

Last Night a DJ Saved My Life

Yesterday was the kick off for the B Girl Be visual exhibit. We had a Cut-a-thon with Moxie Hair Salon from noon to midnight, featuring artwork on the walls, vocal performances, breakers, and Dj Jennifer & Dj Aaron Money.

Jamela started off the performances around 12:30pm. This woman can sing! She doesn't need a microphone & she sure don't need a stage. She is the kind of singer that makes you stop what you're doing and sit down to listen - which is exactly what happened. There was no hair clippin' going on while she was performing. Beautiful.

Then there was me. I went on around 1:30pm. I did 3 poems and was asked to do another. I got a great applause that was unexpected and it felt really good to perform in that environment. The stylists turned their chairs around so that their clients could watch and listen while they got their hair cut.
Nice.

Then came Miss Sarah White. I was really glad she was able to make it down. She has a new 5 month old baby so it's not always so easy to get out and do things. She was a little nervous when she came in. I think it was a combination of the fact that she hadn't performed in some time and that this wasn't the typical performance venue. Bright lights and no where to hide. She held her new life, Isa while she explained her first piece. Emotions were running high and she could finish it due to a ruch of tears. She was embarrassed - but it was absolutely marvelous. Just what people need to see and hear...a real, live person expressing themselves while holding up a new life. You just don't see that often enough.
Lovely.

Sarah decided to do another piece that wasn't so emotional. She got through it and it was just as powerful as the last. Afterwards she admitted that the tears threw her off but I let her know that it's all just the way it is supposed to be. It needed to happen.

At 6pm the DJ's showed up and got the music going. There were 3 lovely B Girls in the house who threw down right there in the middle of the salon. There we young and old in the crowd and many people who just came to watch the performance. I wanted to get down myself but I would have made a fool of myself trying to do the robot or something stupid like that. 3 Little girls gathered autographs after the performance and we caught it all on tape.
Movement.

I headed down to Intermedia around 7pm to see how many people came for the exhibit opening. I walked in to a crowd of people mingling, laughing, talking and weaving their way through the visual expressions on the walls. Within an hour the place was full. I did an impromtu performance with B Girl Seoul and one of the Lovelies from the Purple House project. People gathered around to watch - it was fun but of course, even though it was my idea I felt a little strange about the whole thing. They caught it all on tape (once again) so now I can painfully sit and watch it to see how uncomfortable I really looked.
Lessons.

I ran home to chage clothes around 9pm - next stop: La Bodega for the PAR-TAY! I entered a packed house around 10pm with Leah Nelson at my side. Miranda Jane was taking money at the door and regulatin' all the peeps who were tryin' to trip about the cover. $8 going towards the B Girl Be summit. I guess not everybody knows what's REALLY goin' on.

There were performances by myself - I hadn't planned on performing but we had some last minute cancellations so I decided to fill up some time. Then we had Jessica Lopez Lyman, Sarah White, Maria Isa & Many Styles, Lady Tobalyas & friends, and DJ Lady Luca spinning the hot old school joints. DJ Stage One also came down to help the ladies out (my favorite TC DJ)! In the background on a flat screen TV Rachel Raimist's video complition of women in hip hop played throughout the show. We couldn't have had a better day!
Exhausted.

Spinning

As my life seems to be moving faster than my mind I am in a constant state of confusion. I can't remember anything uinless I write it down. Even the simpilest things are easily forgotten. I have too much on my plate and I need to make some changes.

The good thing is that I am surrounded by good people who understand my maddness and are going through the same thing. And, I am working with some great youth in Minneapolis.

I have been working with a group of young ladies at Green Central School in Minneapolis - working on poems, lyrics and performance. For the past 2 weeks we have been recording songs for the B Girl Be Summit (June 2-5). It has been an amazing experience both for myself and the girls. I took them to a big studio and they got to see how everything is done. They recorded their songs and were soooo professional and open to the experience. It was great! I will never forget it and I don't think that they will either.

The only down side to it is that onm our last night recording got the girls home about 30 minutes later than I had planned. Some of the girls had called their parents and some had not...and what do know, one of the girls who didn't call had an irrate mother screaming at her once she finally called....Then she screamed at me. YIKES! I don't think I have ever had anyone talk to me in that way my whole entire life. Now on the one hand, I understand her point because it is a school night and we didn't call. But, if you wouldn't have heard all the foul language you would have been just as thrown off as I was.

Of course, I apologized and said that we would get her home right away. My co-producer actually took her home and then got an ear full from the mother again.

My concern is with the girl. I just hope she didn't get into too much trouble for being late. I would never want to be the cause of someone getting yelled at, cursed at, or whatever else....I don't even want to think about the possibilities.

Everything just keeps spinning - hopefully I will soon get a chance to stop and rest.

Babies on Birth Control

Things are getting crazy. Or no...maybe things have been crazy and I'm just realizing it. They are trying to make birth control illegal???? Are you fucking kidding me? Well,a few pharmacists in the Twin Cities area have refused women their perscriptions for birth control because of their religious beliefs. I'm like, those are YOUR religious beliefs, not MINE.

I have never been on birth control but I do use protection and I know that it is my right to be able to choose whether or not I want to use birth control. These people are really losing it, deciding for someone else. Ain't that some shit!

NO birth control. No abortions. But you want me to raise my child so that when they turn 18 you can sign them up for your ARMY, send them off, teach them to KILL (which if I remember correctly is MORALLY WRONG IN YOUR BOOK), and then tell them it is an honor for them to die for "their country". So actually, you will kill them or at least send them to de killed. And that should be ok with me? No.

I believe in this country and what it is supposed to stand for and I am glad that I have spent my life here....there is no question that I love where I came from. It's the people the worry me...actually, scare me to death.

Bombing Abortion clinics = death....isn't that right?

But that's not all....I work with youth in my community and recently a young girl came in and she was complaining about pain from her birth control shot. I was a little stunned to hear that she had gotten the shot but I tried to just listen to her. The problem is that some of these methods we are using completely stop your whole cycle. There is something wrong with this. There has to be some affect that this is going to have - we may not know til it's too late. the second problem is that this is the only protection that these young girls are using. Minneapolis has one of the highest STD rates in the nation so this could out to be devastating to the community as a whole, not to mention these young girls (and boys) lives.

I feel like with all these things we are on the path to self destruction. It's hard to watch it all go down and hear everyone's explanation and excuses.

What's goin' on?

How To Be SUCKA FREE!

How to be Sucka Free

10 ways to avoid the suckas, fuckas and dramafied lost ones.

1. Believe people the first time they show you who they are (wise words by Maya Angelou - modified by me)

2. When you notice that people are drawing you into their drama - step back and walk away.

3. Never take anything personal - because other peoples bullshit isn't about you. It's all about them!

4. Never assume anything! We make assumptions that we make ourselves believe are FACTS. Assumptions are NOT facts.

5. Cut them off if they are manipulative - it doesn't matter how long you've known someone. If they are abusing your friendship they do not deserve it. Kick em to the curb and shake it off.

6. Be tackful, sincere and honest.

7. Learn to know yourself with every new day.

8. Don't rely on anyone but YOU. Now, some will disagree with this but this is my list so....that's how it goes.

9. Deal with honest people with integrity - your gut instinct is RIGHT! Cut your losses and move on.

10. Don't be a SUCKA!

HTML©

Blogarific Britch

ok so my friend Miranda brought it to my attention that I do not "blog" enough. Most of the things that I put up on my spot are shows, vague information and pictures....Mostly because even though I am a poet, I am not a writer. As you can see I have no idea how to use punctuation and such. So, I think I've been hesitant because of my writing inept-ness.

Tangent #1:
By the way, Miranda and I wrote this today while at Intermedia Arts after the B Girl Be Summit Meeting.....
culturally illiterate / spiritually deaf
holistically retarded / lyrically inept

Sounds like the beginning of a great song to me. lol!

Ok, back on track. This is my attempt at blogging - the REALLY real. If you find this way too boring and unexciting I suggest that you check out my friend Miranda's blog for some five star writing and entertainment.

This time around there will be no fancy stories about Wiscompton or any Hieroglyphics shows. You have to go visit Miranda's blog for that. You know, I'm just gettin into this....so you have to humor me until I get this down.

Until then check this out:

check for the B Girl Be hip hop summit in Minneapolis / June 2005

B Girl Radio

As a part of KFAI's International Women's Day Celebration, my friends Rachel, Miranda and I had an hour long show playing all women in hip hop and promoted our B Girl Be hip hop summit, happening this June 2-5, 2005

To check out the radio show goto:
www.kfai.org - click on program archives
find International Women's Day, then find B Girl Radio.

We played local, national and international artists! Check it out. I'm sure you will love it. :)

Sound Waves

If you want to hear some of my new tracks from my upcoming CD release and catch an interview goto www.kfai.org
click on program archives
scroll down to Groove Garden
click on most recent show - or Mar 5 show
I'm in the first half of the show. This is only available for the next 2 weeks. So, catch it while you can.

peace

Journal Entry

Last night I was in Northfield at St Olaf college performing with the Vibin' Collective. It was a great show. I got to see some of the students perform and everyone was fresh! Inspiring. Thanks tp the Vibin' Colective for bringing me along. And a special thanks to Jimeka for feeding me. I am no longer a starving artist. :)

Today I am in Grimes, Iowa. Which is near Des Moines. I performed for Mrs Rubel's (my sister) Parenting class, 6th hour. It was great to talk to and perform for all the students.

Tomorrow I am going back up to Minneapolis -home.

peace

more later

B-Girl Be Fundraiser

B GIRL BE FUNDRAISER at FIRST AVENUE

This show is gonna be HOT!

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11
at FIRST AVENUE MAINROOM
701 1st Avenue North
Minneapolis
DOORS: 8:30pm SHOW: 9pm
$1 / LADIES
$4 / FELLAS

SPECIAL GUESTS: H E A T w/ DJ Enferno

also featuring performances by:
Desdamona f/Carnage & DJ Mindcontrol
Protegee
Pure Essence
Jessica Lyman Lopez
& VERB X

All I need is ONE MIC

Rhapsody - appearing on my upcoming project, "the ledge".

Journal Entry #3

Last night's fundraiser for the B Girl Be Summit was amazing! Thanks to everyone who came out to support!

Thanks to all the artists and organizers - Mysnikol, DJ Lady Luca, Dj Mindcontrol, Maddy, The Collective dancers, Ariel Williams, Ashley Gold, the Purple House Project and the Blue Nile for giving us the venue! Thank you to all the people and businesses who donated for our giveaway! (Peter Thompson, BIOHH, Damian Day - Daylight)

The next show is Friday, February 11 at First Avenue in Minneapolis, in the mainroom.

Also, thanks to all the b boys and b girls who came down and rocked it - and everyone who came to enjoy the vibe! Hope to see you all again at the next show.

If you want to find out more about the B Girl Be summit you can contact me at desdamona4@aol.com

peace - I'm back on the grind
desdamona

Desdamona at Intermedia Arts - Encyclopedia of Hip Hop Evolution 2003

For the LOVE of Hip Hop

Saturday, February 5, 2005
at The Blue Nile
2027 E Franklin Ave (Minneapolis)

For the LOVE of Hip Hop - a fundraiser benefiting the Twin Cities first B Girl Be Summit.

9pm / $8 / 21+

Hosted by the hottest female comic in the cities! Mysnikol

featuring:
Yvette
Ashley Gold
Mooks
Ariel Williams
Desdamona
the Collective Dance group
and DJ Lady Luca & DJ Mindcontrol

There will be merchandise and free giveaways! Help support the local hip hop scene and the ladies!
You don't want to miss this!

The Edge - Hopkins Center for the Arts

Edge Coffeehouse Performance
Intuition­Resonating­Silence
Friday, Jan. 14, 7:30pm
An eclectic blend of 3 performances by local emerging artists

Hopkins Center for the Arts
1111 Main Street, Hopkins
952-979-1105
(15 minutes from Minneapolis)
Parking ramp next to movie theater.

Doors open at 7pm. Tickets at the door only; general seating.
$8.00; $6.00 members, students, age 60 and over.

€ Enjoy coffee and treats € Smoke-Free € Meet friends, relax € Informal, intimate atmosphere
€ Edgy, lively, entertainment € A mix of music, comedy, spoken word, dance, & theater
€ Recommended for adults age 18 and older € Approx. 90 minutes performance time with
one 10-minute intermission

Steve Kaul­"Resonating" (Singer, songwriter, musician)
Steve sings and performs with Martin acoustic and Amistar resonator guitars. He plays and sings traditional folk, rapid-fire fingerstyle country blues and his own songs with an intense energy. He has performed for over 18 years in the Midwest and has played selected shows on the west coast and Europe, including performances and workshops at the Minnesota Resophonic Guitar Festival and the Northeast Folk Festival. His new solo acoustic CD, Utah Sun, was released in October 2004.

Desdamona­"Intuition" (Spoken word artist)
This spoken word warrior has distinguished herself with her potent poetry performed on some of the most prestigious stages for poetry in the country including The Green Mill in Chicago, the Nuyorican Poets Cafe in New York, The Five Spot in Philadelphia and the National Poetry Slam Competition. She received the Minnesota Music Award for Best Spoken Word Artist in 2000, 2003 and 2004.

Mikael Rudolph­"Silence" (Vaudevillian physical comic and mime artist)
Vaudevillian physical comic and mime artist Mikael Rudolph will present a portion of his touring show: Swim Home, a high-paced, hilarious non-verbal Vaudevillian physical comedy show with stunning magical prop illusions in a style reminiscent of European street cabaret and silent film. He has studied with Marcel Marceau among others and has performed at festivals nationwide including The Ordway's Flint Hills International Children's Festival, and produces variety festivals including the 2nd Annual ³Speakeasy" Mime & Physical Theatre Festival this spring
(www.speakeasyshow.com).

at the Hopkins Center for the Arts

Intuition - Resonating - Silence
at Hopkins Center for the Arts - 1111 Mainstreet, Hopkins
(15 minutes from Minneapolis)
an eclectic blend of 3 performances by local emerging artists
Friday, January 14, 7:30pm
Doors at 7pm / tickets at door only
$8 / $6 for members, students, age 60 and over

featuring:
Steve Kaul
Desdamona
Mikael Rudolph

goto www.hopkinsartscenter.com for more info on artists
or call 952-979-1105

Journal Entry #2 - Tonight at the Terminal Bar

Tonight at the Terminal there was a great hip hop show. I played with numerous hip hop groups. Can't remember all the names. Big UPS to Carnage who helped me out with the beat box stylings. Always Rock-Rockin it. I had a really good time and walked away with a little cash in my pocket. Carnage - we gotta do that more often.

Earlier today I taught a couple workshops in Buffalo MN HS. It went really well - Can't wait to go back in May for a residency.

Have nothing to do tomorrow. Probably get up late, and do some laundry, clean the rest of my apartment, ya know.

peace
desdamona

B Girl Be Hip Hop Summit Fundraiser

Come down to the Dinkytowner this Saturday
for a fundraiser that will support the B Girl Be Hip Hop Summit
18+ / $5 cover
hosted by Unicus & Desdamona
on the wheels: DJ Stage One - always rockin it - all the time

OPEN MIC from 9:30-10:30

featuring:
up and coming fire breathing poet & MC - Pure Essence
spoken word Goddess with hip hop flava - Karma
the ever poetic MC stylings and insanely beautiful lovely - Indigo
and the princess of the poem - Desdamona

watch for upcoming events featuring more local ladies rockin the mic - help support the B Girl Be Hip Hop Summit 2005

peace

WoRDpLaY

presented by Soulistic Playhouse

Open Mic / Spoken Word / Hip Hop

Mondays
@ Profile Music Cafe
2630 University Ave SE
7-11pm
$2 donation

info. 612.722.0586
www.soulisticplyahouse.org

Kandy Girl Jewels by Desdamona

You can check out and purchase my new jewelry designs at:
Rituals
3750 Minnehaha Avenue
Minneapolis, MN 55406

you can also find great soaps, perfume oils, candles, etc.
made by owner Antoinette Williams

journal entry #1

Hey everyone - well, I know that so far I haven't added much personal information to my blog but I decided today would be the day.

I just read the book, The Four Agreements and I would encourage everyone to read this book. Great Insight and may be the reassurance you need. I know it made a huge change in me. Just trying to spread the love!

Things have been going well for me. The new CD is coming along. Just adding some finishing touches and writing up all the insert text, thanks you's, credits, and all that.

I'm also helping organize and plan a Women in Hip Hop Summit in Minneapolis for June. It's really exciting and I'm hoping for the best. Right now we are searching for and securing funding so that we can make this a marvelous event. If you know anyone with lots of money who loves to strengthen the community - send them my way. This Summit will feature positive images of women, documentaries by and about women in hip hop, live shows, national and international women artists, muralists & visual artists, fashion, poetry & rap. Dj's, panel discussions, breakdancing, intergenerational events, resources for women... the list goes on and on.

It's snowing here today in Minneapolis. Big, pretty flakes. It's not too cold and I like it. It made me smile to walk out to my car this morning and see the snow. As long as it doesn't pile up too much. :)

Ok, I'm off. Going to a museum today to get some inspiration.

Peace & Respect

ReAL LiVe HIp HoP!

Sunday, December 5, 2004
8-10pm ALL AGES
$5 / $3 for IA members or youth under 17
Intermedia Arts
2822 Lyndale Avenue South

THE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF HIP HOP EVOLUTION
FEATURING:
BIG QUARTERS
AKIRA JOHNSON
LEITAH AKA SAGITARYUS
B GIRL SEOUL
AND MORE

hosted by Desdamona

Write to Choose

If you believe in a woman's right to choose go to:
www.bushvchoice.blogs.com or contact can@ProChoiceAmerica.org

Get more information and make your voice heard!

WOMEN REIGN at the MN MUSIC CAFE

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 2004
MN Music Cafe 499 Payne Avenue - St. Paul
Performances by:
Rebecca Fisher
& Desdamona

other talented female performers from the Twin Cities TBA!
MORE INFO TO COME SOON

Dinkytowner Show this Saturday!

Saturday, October 16, 2004 @ The Dinkytowner
$4 / 21+ / open mic 10-11pm

Hosted by Unicus

featuring:
DJ Stage One
Dawn of the Head
Desdamona & friends

Theresa, Deirdre, Desdamona, Rachel and Tiana in Honolulu, Hawaii @ Girlfest 2004.

Desdamona hosts and performs at the Blue Nile Open Mic Tuesdays.

More Words...More Music

Thursday, October 7th, 2004 9:30pm / 21+
at The Kitty Cat Klub

Dynamic Music & Spoken Word Performances by:
Toussaint Morrison
DESDAMONA
Truth Maze
A-Ball
Isis
Casper & More

Featured Musicians is violinist DBR out of Brooklyn. Accompanied with keyboardist and turntablist. www.dbrmusic.com

Kitty Cat Klub / 315 14th Ave. SE. - Dinkytown
Sound UNSEEN 5th Annual Independent Film & Music Festival
MNSWA curates spoken word element at the Kitty Cat Klub
www.soundunseen.com for more info on the festival