ok, so what's with people (women in particular) who say things like, "...When I was 22 I decided that I would be married by the time I was 28. Now I'm 28 and I'm not married. Where I come from, 28 is old...." What the hell is this?
Or the people who say that they didn't really want to get married but they did it because it was "...the right thing to do." What? The right thing to do it to be true to yourself.
Or the, "Well, we've been together for a long time...we might as well get married." No. You should get married because you want to. Not because it's the right thing to do. Or because of pressure.
Which brings up another issue I have with the topic of marriage...People who pressure their partners to get married. Geez, if you have to pressure someone do you really think that that's what they want. Aren't you just guilting them into a situation. Something that over 50% of the time ends in divorce.
I'm all for love and relationships but this whole, "I should be married by..." is total crap and so unrealistic. I think that when it's really right you just know it. There is no, "we might as well." or anything. It just is. And it's good.
I know people don't want to be alone...but I know there are plently of married people who feel very alone. So, being married doesn't cure loneliness. It's just an illusion. Take your time. As much time as you need. And you may have to wait a long time but it will be worth the wait. Settling for something less will only bring pain.
1 comment:
i can relate to this post. i've gotten 5 yes FIVE legit marriage proposals in my life. first when i was 18. he was italian, handsome and sweet as can be. i moved to cali, he offered to follow me. i move to LA, fell in love, got proposed by a korean cinematographer and i said no - he drank too much and smoked cigarettes. started dating an australian fx guy. his proposal was more wine and post-sex induced. i said no. then, my daughter's dad. i was afraid cuz of infidelity, his changing values (and increased adoration of expensive shoes and brand names), and now.. well, des, u know now. i absolutely love my honey. his proposal was dead serious and my yes was a serious response. although i fear the legal contract end of things - i hate signing contracts for anything!!!! - and the complicated time issue, i finally feel at 31 that i want to be a mrs. the love is right. the communication is there. the soulmate bond is most definite.
ill keep u posted on this one.
- mrs. j to be announced
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