Saturday, July 30, 2005

poem



12/26/04 Reach Past This - by Desdamona

Reach
past this
flesh
Those who create have mastered the art of living forever
even if they only exist to collect dust
Up in attics there are stacks of inspiration
Down in basements where there are lost archives
singing, playing, speaking, moving
patiently waiting for someone to find them again
Reach past this flesh
This is your chance
to tell your story
My father told me that the greatest thing that I could give the world
is my story, my voice, my perspective
because no one else can tell it
So, go tell it
Reach past this flesh
Poets create new life in new worlds
because this one seems so hard to survive in
so they write new realities
turning casualties into martyrs, heros and myths
This is beyond any one culture or any one belief
These stories belong to the people who receive them
not to the people who speak them
These stories come from cities and villages all over the world
There is no culture or continent that has no story to tell
reach past this flesh
and rest inside so that you can better understand
your reality
It is not whether the story is true or false
It's the story that matters
the expression and existence, the proof that we were here
We have no right to stop the story
to abandon or misplace it
We must tell the story
so that it can continue
Tell a story that does not yet exist and watch it turn into reality
Reach past this flesh
and you will know that life is eternally spinning, weaving
and creating new stories and new life
Look into a babies eyes and you will see a life that you cannnot even begin to imagine the span of
cannot predict the future for, cannot fully give them the story of the past so that they can truly grasp all the lessons that should have been learned in the process
Reach past this death
and know without a doubt
that your story will change lives
no matter how slightly
and be confident that your breath had purpose beyond it's capacity

Strange but true

ok, it's about 9 minutes after 1am. I have been up watching movies and I heard something outside my window. It's usually pretty quiet in my neighborhood so I went to look and see what it was.

There were 2 women and one was leaned up against a car. The other woman was hitting her with a belt. They were both laughing. The started to get back in the car and I heard one of them say she didn't get enough. So, they came back to the front of the car and then they switched places. This time one of them hit the other with a paddle. Then after about 5 good hits they got in their car and drove away.

Right about now, I'm laughing out loud because I have no idea what the hell that was all about. I guess that's life on a Friday night in the city. ooooooooo kayyyyyyy!

Friday, July 29, 2005

What a Woman Should Do....

...to keep a man.

It's a set up! I have been reading a hearing these lists on the radio and in magazines. At first, I listened simply wondering what the hell they were going to say. Not that I need a list to tell me how to keep a man but I'm thinking, who wrote this list?

Here are some of the things on the list:
Shave your legs
Don't gain weight
Don't let yourself go
Keep your hair long

You know the rest. Pathetic. Most of the men I know "let themselves" go as they get older. I guess I don't even see it as that. It's more like, you're getting older and you slow down. I just love how women are held to higher standard than men and we are supposed to be the ones who try to "keep a man". How about respecting me enough to want to try and "keep" me. Not keep, as in a "kept woman"....but you know what I mean.

I just think that these days women are pitted against eachother more than ever and lists like these don't help matters. When you tell someone that they have to fight for things it sets them up for failure and disaster when it comes to relationships. It would be nice if the list was like this.

Be yourself
Love yourself
Do what's right for you

Well, that is what my list is. And if and when that person comes around they will see that and say, "well damn, she's a keeper!" ;)

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Pictures from Tramaganum Release Party!







1. ME and my flashy bracelet
2. Desdamona (ME) & singer Debra G
3. Me & Ray Banderez (I know we look like we're together - but, he's not my boyfriend..He's just a boy friend. ;)

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

New Religion

religion n. (all that centers about man's belief in or relationship to a superior being or beings) 1. belief in worship of God or gods 2. a specific system of belief, worship, etc., often involving a code of ethics.

My aunt is a minister. One unlike any other I have met - not that I have met that many. She is a truly spiritual and caring person - not condemning or elitist. I realized after reading her latest newsletter that she has actually created her own religion. Her own habits and customs.

As I read, it made me smile. I had always thought that I didn't really belong to a particular religion. None really suited me the way that I thought they should. Nothing felt just right. But what feels right is something that I do religiously, which is write anmd express my poetry. I have always considered them prayers...because they are reminders to me of who am and what I should be.

As I finished my aunt's newsletter I realized that all of the people in my life have their very own religion. My father is a fisherman and story teller. He seems to enjoy helping people and has a hard time saying no. (this is true for most of my family)My mother is a seemstress and likes to create things, watch over people and make sure that everything is just right. My sister is a teacher who is active in her community and seems to always be busy with something. My friend Rachel is a filmmaker, mother and she is always pushing the boundaries within herself and others. And my fried Deirdre is also a mother, friend and very organized person who goes the extra mile when she believes in something.

These people all have their own individual religion. The thing that keeps them going, makes them happy, and keeps them gounded. They all have a great sense of community which shines through in all their actions. It's not about going to church or even claiming a particular religion. These people are true to themselves and others, giving and caring people. I don't know exactly what they believe deep in their hearts but I know that they all feel love, lonliness, compassion, respect, joy, saddness and have a strong will to live. And they religiously reach for something better every day.

Monday, July 25, 2005

Assignment for the Day!

Your Sanctuary

Make a list of things they would make your sanctuary - your sacred place.

What does it smell like?
Look like?
Sound like?
Feel like?
If it could speak what would it say?
How was it created?
What is it made of?

write it down. Creat your sanctuary.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

TapeRecorda Duplicata



I have been performing in the Twin Cities since 1997 and over the years I have seen a lot of great performers with unique, interesting styles and modes of expression. My favorites are always the ones who have their own little twist. Tops on my list are Brother Ali, Slug, Truth Maze, the now defunct 3 Kings, and Carnage. Unfortunately there is a down side to the scene that people don't seem to talk about too much. It's the "Duplicator syndrome", as I like to call it. There are a plethera of clones who seem to be so influenced by some of the better known MPLS hip hop cats that they sound like another version of them. I find it disturbing and uninspiring...and very, very disappointing.

I don't know if it's conscious thing or if it's just from listening to a particular artist way too much. And, I don't know why anyone would ever want to sound like someone else. You will always end up second best. Not that the point is to be the best...But isn't it to be unique and to tell your story, your way?

There are a lot of baby Slug's - male and female. I suppose you could say it's a form of flattery but I find it a form of annoyance. Some say it's the "Minneapolis Sound" and I disagree. If it was the "Minneapolis Sound" then everyone would sound the same. Musab doesn't sound like Slug or vice versa. Ali doesn't sound like I Self Devine, etc....

Picture this...2 Mos Def's. What would it be like if there were 2 of him? Umi said, "...shine your light on the world. Shine YOUR light for the world to see." When the world sees you shining your neighbors flashlight the next thing they will notice is your falseness. I find is passive-aggressively disrespectful to the person who is being biten. Riding off of what someone esle has created is slimy and dishonest in my eyes. The mainstream is already saturated with stuff that sounds so similar that you don't even think about who the MC is. I don't know why this happens because in the end, people don't remember who won the award or who was being played all the time. They remember who stood out, who was ahead of their time, who didn't get enough shine.

I wish that people would strive to find their own voice and not worry about what's "in" or what people are already hooked into. To truly grow we need more unique voices out there to push forward. We should be incomparable. Memorable. Undefinable. Undeniably Original.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Random, Breathing, Creativity



Once again, it is too hot. The day started off with a nice thunder storm and pouring rain. It was about 75 degrees and windy. The weather man kept saying it was going to get up to 100. I didn't believe it because at 1:30 it wasn't even above 80 yet. But, here I am in my un-airconditioned apartment sweating my bootay off in the heat. Nope, I still haven't bought that airconditioner.

Other than that, everything is good. I performed at The Fallout Art Festival to a crowd of about 20 people and when I walked off stage someone bought a CD from me right then. That was nice. Small crowds are harder than a room full of people. But you do what you do and someone always appreciates it.

For the past 2 weeks I have been doing at least one thing every day to promote my newly released CD and today I haven't done ANYTHING>>> I promised myself that I would do one thing every day to promote the CD. That way I couldn't be mad at myself for not putting out the effort. I guess the show today was effort...So, maybe I did do something.

Soon my website will have some of my poetry & lyrics up so watch for that in the days to come. My site address is listed on the side of my blog and you can click and go.

Leave me a message. peace, des

Friday, July 22, 2005

Sold Out



Not many people can say that they can sell out the largest venue in their city but RhymeSayers can. Tonight was the 10th Anniversary Party for RSE and the place was packed.
I didn't get there until around 9pm. I was hoping to miss some of the crowd. But, when I got there there was a sea of people waving their hands in the air. It was HOT and crowded, loud and fresh. Of course, I missed a large portion of the show but I saw a number of performers. I also saw my girl Rachel across the sea taking pictures from the stairs. Never saw her after that....
I saw a lot of local hip hop cats outside of RhymeSayers like, Carnage, Adam Garcia, Franz Diego, MissRead, Dancin Dave and many more. I'm sure I missed a few because I never really got to the other side of the room.
I couldn't help but stand there and smile at what RhymeSayers has created over the years. I wish them much more success in the years to come and I am happy that they represent Minneapolis and themselves the way they do.

(above is a picture of RhymeSayers artist and my friend, Brother Ali...You're now rockin with the champion!)

the best salsa ever!



All summer long I make salsa. I can't stand the stuff in jars. I think it's disgusting and it doesn't even taste right. Once you've had real salsa there's no going back to the jar stuff. So, here's how to make it yourself. Taste it along the way and add or subtract to your liking.

3 or 4 decent sized tomatoes
1 onion (red and sweet onion)
2 cloves of garlic
cilantro
1 jalepeno pepper - if you like it HOT!!!! Try Habanero, but be careful!
ground cumin (add as much as you like)
A pinch of sugar
A pinch of salt

Dice up the vegetables and add the other ingradients. Then get your bag of chips and eat up!!! You won't be able to stop.
My mom adds a little red wine vinegar to hers.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Realistically Romantic



ok, so what's with people (women in particular) who say things like, "...When I was 22 I decided that I would be married by the time I was 28. Now I'm 28 and I'm not married. Where I come from, 28 is old...." What the hell is this?

Or the people who say that they didn't really want to get married but they did it because it was "...the right thing to do." What? The right thing to do it to be true to yourself.

Or the, "Well, we've been together for a long time...we might as well get married." No. You should get married because you want to. Not because it's the right thing to do. Or because of pressure.

Which brings up another issue I have with the topic of marriage...People who pressure their partners to get married. Geez, if you have to pressure someone do you really think that that's what they want. Aren't you just guilting them into a situation. Something that over 50% of the time ends in divorce.

I'm all for love and relationships but this whole, "I should be married by..." is total crap and so unrealistic. I think that when it's really right you just know it. There is no, "we might as well." or anything. It just is. And it's good.

I know people don't want to be alone...but I know there are plently of married people who feel very alone. So, being married doesn't cure loneliness. It's just an illusion. Take your time. As much time as you need. And you may have to wait a long time but it will be worth the wait. Settling for something less will only bring pain.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Too Damn HOT!



ok, I'm a midwestern girl. Grew up in Iowa where the four seasons are apparent and beautiful. Now I live in Minnesota which is about 6 hours north of my home town. The seasons here are simliar but after living here for about 10 years I have noticed the difference between here and my origin. Here there are basically 2 seasons. When we get four it's out of the oridinary. This year was one of those out of the ordinary years. We've had every season and I have been enjoying it until recently. Our 7 day stint of atrocious heat has driven me to buy another fan for my house and now I am seriously considering buying an air conditioner. Someone told me they're only $60 at Target. But, since I've waited so long there are probably none left.

Now, I am sort of a wimp when it comes to summer. Unless there is some water around I don't really care to be outside. Give me below 80 degrees and I'm fine. But after that I become sluggish and lazy. As I am now.

It has been above 90 and I know that there are some states that I have been to where the thermostat goes above and beyond what I consider hot. I have expereinced those places and honestly I don't know how people survive.

So, I am trying to think cool thoughts. I brought some bribery treats to my friend Rachel (who has air conditioning)I came with gifts of Hostess Ding Dongs, Hershey's chocolate, Kit Kat, KC Masterpiece Chips and soda. The request was for treats and chocolate so I do believe I came through. And my gift is to sit in the air conditioning.

Friday, July 15, 2005

Come Back To Life

Today is when it starts. You come back to life. You do something that you don't usually do. Go somewhere alone and enjoy it.

Or, have dessert and love every last bite

go swimming

sit in the sun for at least 15 minutes while drinking the lemonade you just sqeezed yourself

go to the record store and look for some good music

get a pedicure

get a massage

if you're single ask someone out with no expectations

take a drive to who knows where

get a new pair of shoes to walk around the lake in

call a friend you haven't seen in a while and have lunch

rent a bunch of movies, have lots of treats and invite a friend over to enjoy it with you

go listen to live music

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

A Day in the Sun and The Darkest Night




Yesterday I decided to do something for myself. My friend Rachel and her 8 year old daughter Tiana, along with another little friend went to the swimming pool. It was really good for me. We were only there for about an hour but the mixture of sun and water helped me a lot. I guess I can't really explain what it did but I needed it.

Then last night at the open mic that I host at the Blue Nile Restaurant all these great people kept showing up. People I haven't seen in a while...and people who I really like to see. We had a really good, eclectic show and then around 12:30am the lights went out. But the show didn't stop. There was still the drum and the voice. And everybody stayed for over a half on hour either taking part in the cipher or listening. It was really fun and again, I needed that. The light never came back on so we all left a little earlier than normal.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Here Kitty, Kitty



Yesterday my neighbors called me to tell me that there had been a large group of cats on my back porch earlier that morning. Think horror movie...

So I went to the back when I got off the phone and there was one little guy left. I wasn't sure if he was tame so I just left some food for him and went away. He left shortly after I gave him the food and I haven't seen him since.

Today, I was on my way home from teaching a workshop and as I was driving down my block I see this big group of cats in someone's front yard. I knew theses had to be the same cats that had been on my porch so I decided to call animal control to see if they would come and pick them up. Or something.

When I called the operator told me that there is no leashing law so they can't come and pick them up. She told me that if they were in a cage or a box they could come and pick them up. I was thinking, "If I got them in a cage I would just bring them to you." Isn't this what "animal control" is supposed to do....pick up strays, and
"fix" them so that they don't continue to breed and get out of control?

I love animals but the thought of a bunch of stray cats roaming around my house isn't cool. And if they keep having more and more babies, it will be insane. Of course, I suppose it is possible that these cats have an owner but I find it hard to believe.

Monday, July 11, 2005

It's in the Family



The Great Flower Bulb War - by my Dad...a.k.a. Perry O. Ross

Growing up I, and most of the kids I knew, had the run of the town. At one time or another we might be in any corner of the community and I don't think I was ever afraid. Since organized activities for kids were limited in those days we had to invent or create our own entertainment. I had my best times, far greater times, in those invented activities than in the organized ones. I think I learned more too. I was never at a loss for something to do and don't remember being bored. We were often very creative.

One game that we played community wide was Army. Kids would join one side or the other and the game might last for days. Today such games are considered too violent for kids but we didn't worry about things like that back them. We knew it was just a game.

One day in the middle of one of these three-day wars we met in our garage in the morning to plan the assault on Pat Fitch's troops that were bivouacked in Saunders Park. As we were discussing our plan one of our troops arrived. It was Billy Jackson. He had a huge grin on his face. He said, “Look!” and held out his hand. In it rested a flower bulb. “Hand grenades!” he said and we all ooohed and awed. He had discovered the newly planted flower bulbs in the Clark's garden on the corner near his house.

We knew immediately we needed a lot more and went to the garden and filled our pockets and carried all we could hold. We no sooner got back to my house and my mother was on us! Now my mother didn't typically get too upset but she clearly was this time. Mrs. Clark had watched us from her house as we did our dirty work in her garden.

The punishment, besides the scolding I got, was for us to replant, as best we could, all of those bulbs under the supervision of my father and Mr. Clark.

We were impulsive kids; I guess, and sometimes did things with little thought of the implications. We really didn't think we were stealing flowers. We thought we were simply gathering ammunition for the war. That was one time our creativity didn't pay.

Toot Your Own Horn...Or, Let Someone Else Do It



The first time I heard Desdamona I was at a hip hop show in Minneapolis. When she stepped up on the stage with her slightly tussled hair in two hair buns, sweet subtle smile and natural serene beauty, I would have never expected to hear what it is that flew off of her tongue. She showed strong lyrical talent in many different fashions and on various levels. It was almost like everything that lay dormant in my head but never would have dreamt of putting into a lyrical concoction came flowing out of her mouth. So when I heard her full-length debut album, “The Ledge” was out on the shelves, I was eager to find out if this poetic princess would impress me the way she did that night on stage.

Desdamona has many different explanations for what “The Ledge” means to her, which she took the time to write out in her album liner notes. So listeners may feel like they are given a glimpse of her thought process even before they actually listen to the album. Desdamona wastes no time grabbing the attention of true Hip Hop lovers with a creation spit a cappella called, “I Wanted To Be an MC”. This is a tribute to all the great M.C.’s who we grew up on when we initially embraced this culture as our own. With this heartfelt piece, Desdamona tells the story of an eager female struggling to establish herself as a viable entity in the vast biosphere that is Hip Hop. She intricately weaves the names of various well-known artists in such a fashion that you have no choice but to chuckle over. Indeed a great intro to her album.

Desdamona is provided the perfect platform for her mission to define herself as she chooses varying tempos of well-arranged, high-caliber production. I was most pleasantly moved by the “Don’t Listen 2 The Lyrics”. Produced by the infamous reggae pioneers, Sly & Robbie (also the producers of half the album), this track may throw you off because it starts off sounding like just another R. Kelly bootie shaking “Fiesta” beat. But instead of lyrics reflecting demeaning images and views of women like we would normally expect, it consists of the exact opposite. It tells the tales of how we as females always feel we fall short of the images that the media, mainstream radio and videos expects us to live up to. Like the lyrics go: “The mainstream seeps into subconscious/And slowly she feels worthless/like success might lie in a bikini on uncut BET…”

Onto a different vibe, “Swing Down” boasts the smooth laid back track with Desdemona’s crisp sultry voice, in which she sings the entire song. I have to say her singing is quite impressive, as this track gives the prolific Neo-soul reminiscent Goapele a run for her money! Desdamona shows a very intimate side of herself that we can all relate to.

I must say I was waiting for some real show off, back in the day, scratchin’ now and again on this album. Not to mention that I have a strong desire to hear her sing entire songs, in an attempt to master yet another angle of vocalization. Although Desdamona prides herself in being a spoken word extraordinaire, this album contains something to get your booty grooving or your mind a thinking. Whether you are into Spoken Word, Neo- Soul, Reggae, Hip Hop, or even R&B there is something here that will kick flava in your ear.

Desdemona recites lyrics on this album suggesting she has spent much of her life reading poetry, listening to old school jams & studying the rhymes of hip hop pioneers far and wide reflecting exactly who she is as an artist. She sets out to inform you of what esoteric thoughts her mind manufactures in a skillfully poetic manner, while maintaining a knack to entertain the listener. Mmmm…Mission accomplished.

Charli Marie

Sunday, July 10, 2005

And the saying goes...

You know how people always say that you have to struggle to get to the top or that there is always a struggle to get where you are going...and how it makes you appreciate it more. As this has been true for me throughout my life...I have to say that I think it's a lie. I mean, I don't believe that you HAVE to go through hell to get to the good stuff. I think that's a lie we tell ourselves so that when we go through the crappy stuff the good stuff is just on the other side and we deserve it- so don't worry. It's coming. It somehow makes it easier.

I feel like this mindset can really be our downfall. It's like, "Well, I gotta go through hell to get anything good. I just need to toughin up and I'll make it." eh! And I think a lot of people use it as their crutch to never try and have something good.

I think most of it really comes down to bad decision making and lack of intuition. When I go through rough spots it's a direct reflection of the decisions I made along the way. I have myself to blame...but I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I'm going to get through it not because I want to...but, because I have to. And not because I have to go through maddness to get to happiness.

I'm not into "self help" books but this past year I ran across "the four agreements" and it has actually changed my perspective a lot - and has molded this post. The book is really about looking at things in a different way. There are other books by the same author that explore philosophies and present ways of dealing with things in a different way. It's worth the read. I think I can garantee that anyone who reads it will walk away with something.

It wasn't my intention to promote the book in this post but as I was typing I realized that some of the ideas I was writing were a direct reflection of the book - so I decided to use the space to talk about it.

Rambling on & on,
desdamona

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Desdamona's Picks

Movie:
Dangerous Beauty - based on Veronica Franco. The true story of a women (poet) who defied convention in 16th century Venice.

Lagally Blond - because it's just fun & cute.

Books:

1. The Poisonwood Bible
2. The Red Tent
3. The Crimson Petal and the White (I'm intrigued by stories of women/outcasts in society and how they survived)
4. Testimony of an Irish Slave Girl
5. The Four Agreements
6. The Trouble with Christmas

All of these books changed me in some small way. Most of my choices deal with spirituality, survival, and people who have been outcast. All of the above picks deal with those topics in some way or another.

Friday, July 08, 2005

What's Goin' Down On The Up-Side



You should check my girl Rachel's blog. She's a phD student at the U of M and she is doing amazing things. The latest on her blog is information about an online hip hop class.



Also, check Miss Miranda Jane's Blog to catch up on current events in the hip hop realm and more. This girl can type/ write her ass off and she mos def has some stories to tell.

I know I've posted links to their blogs in the past but this is just a gentil reminder that you should really check these lovelies out. And, if you feel the urge leave comments on their blogs. They would love to hear from you.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

One Campaign


Support the ONE Campaign!

Every day is the end of the world for someone

When I watched the news today my heart sank. The bombings in England are yet another sign that will live in an extremely volitile world. Fundamentalists often talk about "the end" coming soon. They've been talking about this for years. The things is, it's the end of the world every single day for someone living on this planet. 10 people died in that bus today in England. How many more were injured in the 4 explosions? How many will never forget that moment for the rest of their lives?

Later in the day I watched Oprah. It was a re-run of the "Undercover Brother" phenomenon. Men who are supposedly "straight" and married or in relationships with women who secretly pursue sexual relationships with other men. It seems like no one is using protection anymore.

Oprah stated that 78 percent of the new HIV cases for women were African American women. This is a devistating number. I have heard people say that it is inaccurate but at this point I think that debating it's accuracy is a disservice to the people of this country. Something is very wrong. Even if this disease had only struck ONE person...That is one life that we would have lost due to ignorance and secrecy.

The truth is that this disease is running rampant through almost every community - from small towns, elderly communities, colleges, arts communities, and on and on and on. It will not stop. People fear to find out if they are infected because they say it will destroy them. But, I think that the truth is not that they are afraid it will destory them....but that it will hinder them from being able to pursue sexually intimate contact with others without feeling guilty or having to tell the truth.

We all want love, sex, intimacy. The reality of knowing that you may not be able to experience this intimacy and the stigma that we have placed on the disease stops people from wanting to know if they are infected. Can we create a world where you can love someone deeply and truly and be satisfied without being sexual - or find ways to be sexual without risking another persons life or health? I don't know the answer but I wish I did.

This world keeps becoming more scary to me. Every day I try to create something from love, concern, compassion, understanding and life. We need to come back to life.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005



As someone who rarely gets into the holiday spirit I have to say that this 4th of July was a good one. Normally I don't even think about the 4th until someone invites me over to a party. Part of my disinterest is due to the whole drinking binge senario that usually brings out all the people looking for an excuse to get stupid. The other reason would be that....well, that's another post.

I spent the early part of my day with my old roommate and we had lunch at a little taco place on Hennepin. Nothing fancy but it was good and so was the conversation.

Later in the day I hooked up with a friend - actually it was Chris Allen the artist who designed my CD cover. Inkproof Designs We went to a friend and hung out most of the day eating and talking in the shade with a bunch of people I didn't know. Everyone was cool and interesting - and amazingly, not drunk. We watched some pretty mediocre (loud) fireworks courtesy of the neighbors. We humans sure are fascinated by fire and explosions. I guess I'm kind of over the whole fireworks thing. Hopefully I don't sound too unPatriotic. But everytime I see the big city fireworks it just makes me think of how much money is blowing up in the sky...and about what I would do with that money, or what the city could do with that money. I suppose I get the point behind it but it just doesn't seem worth in to me. It just seems like a waste. A pretty, patriotic, priveleged, loud, smelly waste.

How about instead of that super duper, curly q, multi colored, thousand dollar stick of dynamite we put that money into the arts programs in inner city schools. Or how about feeding some of these people?

The great thing about these holidays is really the getting together of people, families, friends. I tend to forget that I have people who care about it. I get so wrapped up in things, frustrations, life...that I forget that I can just hang out with my friends and have a good time every once in a while. Happy 4th. 5th. 6th....you get the idea.